IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#governments #money #railways #roads
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Today,
transportation
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 systems are becoming severely inconvenient in urbanized cities. Some
people
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 suggest directing governmental funding towards
railways
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 at the expense of roads in order to alleviate adverse
transportation
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 issues. From my point of view,
although
Linking Words
 it may sound reasonable, I believe that expenditure on roads is more valuable. On the one hand,
people
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 are increasingly keen on obtaining multiple private
cars
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.
This
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, in turn, will lead to higher congestion rates on the established road systems. Correspondingly, there must be constant developments in the road sector to contain the ever-rising number of vehicles. In a country,
such
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 as Egypt, the majority of average households own multiple
cars
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, “The Egyptian Gazette” reported.
On the other hand
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,
people
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 who propose funding
railways
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 as a magic pill to the ongoing
transportation
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 hassle have their valid rationale. Admittedly, the development of
railways
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 will significantly reduce the environmental burden caused by vehicle exhaust fumes. Having said that, I believe
this
Linking Words
 methodology is neither viable nor applicable in developing regions. Owing to the fact that car ownership will not be discouraged by aiming governmental funding on
railways
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 solely;
instead
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, it will keep rising. Over seventy per cent of
people
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 prefer
cars
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 over other means of
transportation
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, in accordance to a study, done by the Egyptian
Transportation
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 Department in 2020. In conclusion,
although
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 there are clear benefits of
railways
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, I do not believe that roads should be regarded as less important, as they are
also
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 considered of paramount importance to contain the ever-increasing numbers of vehicles. In the future,
people
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’s attitudes towards
cars
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 may change, but until
then
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, any investment in
railways
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 will be futile.
Submitted by besoyam on

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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples used to support main points.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure followed throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
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