Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

To diminish the number of crimes, some people believe that lengthening the
punishment
will be the best solution.
However
,
although
this
approach is impactful for a
crime
, other ways may be more effective
to eradicate
Change preposition
in eradicating
show examples
rampant crimes. Given
this
situation, another way
such
as social
punishment
should have been enacted to decrease the number of crimes. To commence with, there are positive and negative consequences
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
enacting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
extended
punishment
for
prisoners
.
Firstly
, In terms of
positive
Add an article
the positive
show examples
side, the criminal will have
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
possibilities for doing a
crime
. If the
prisoners
are burdened by
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
show examples
duration of penalty, they may
spent
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
much of their life in cells.
Then
, these people might be freed when they are old and there is no time for them to recommit
crime
again.
Nevertheless
, the negative side is that jails will probably not be able to accommodate these
crime
actors at the same time. If they are jailed for a long time, it will disturb jail
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
which can impact the jail being full and there will be not available cells for new
prisoners
. Another alternative
such
as
social
Correct article usage
a social
show examples
penalty might
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
significant effect. Unlike giving longer sentences
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
prisoners
, social
punishment
can
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
a deterrent effect.
For example
, after people who commit a
crime
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
freed, their surroundings will give
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social pressure
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
make them feel guilty.
Consequently
,
this
way can
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
a traumatic effect
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
doing
crime
and effectively reduce the risk of
crime
.
As a result
, an added penalty can decrease
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime
but there is another way
that is
more effective
such
as
punishment
by the environment of
criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
show examples
. Given
this
situation, the government should support social
social
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
punishment
by showing
prisoners
'
guilty
Replace the word
guilt
show examples
in public and
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
them
regret
Correct pronoun usage
regret it
show examples
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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