Increasing number of people are choosing cosmetology surgery to improve their appearance. What are the reasons? Do you think is it a positive or negative development?

#people #cosmetology #surgery #appearance #development

There is a widely held perception in many parts of the world today that, nowadays more and more

people

are interested in

cosmetology

surgery

to improve their appearance. There are several reasons for

this

development. I think that it has negatively affected our lives and society. In my opinion, there are two main drawbacks to

this

situation. In

this

essay, I will briefly discuss some of the major causes of

this

problem and

also

offer some possible solutions to

this

. First and foremost, I personally believe that

cosmetology

surgery

might be bad or become worse.

People

, especially, women are trying to be beautiful and pretty girls.

However

, surgeries have negatively affected our faces. I definitely disagree with

this

trend. Because they can cause a lot of serious illnesses.

For

this

reason, it is harmful to our health.

On the other hand

, many doctors

maybe do

Wrong verb form

may

show examples

not know about operations. Yet, they want to earn more money. Because

people

are ready to pay more money to improve their appearance. After the operation,they get worse and worse. Even

cosmetology

surgery

causes them to die.

For instance

, I know one person who lived in the USA. He decided to take operation. After six months

surgery

killed him. Despite

such

grave drawbacks, I would like to say that beauty is important for our life and future.

For instance

, if

people

love themselves

then

they do anything that they wish.

To conclude

, I once reiterate my position that , nowadays the amount of

people

who are choosing

cosmetology

surgery

is increasing. I personally believe that it is a negative development.

Submitted by asqar4997 on Wed Jan 25 2023

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task response

The essay addresses the topic of increasing interest in cosmetology surgery and discusses reasons and the writer's opinion on whether it is positive or negative. However, the points lack depth and clarity, leading to a limited response to the task.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. The progression of ideas is somewhat logical, but the development of main points is lacking in depth and coherence.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Increasing number of people are choosing cosmetology surgery to improve their appearance. What are the reasons? Do you think is it a positive or negative development?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is good to share as much as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The process of producing drinking water by solar powered pump and filter

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however say that this would have little effect on public health and other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The provided illustration presents a comparison of the number of male and female participants in the Olympics from 1924 to 2012, as well as the overall number of participants over the same period.