Increasing number of people are choosing cosmetology surgery to improve their appearance. What are the reasons? Do you think is it a positive or negative development?

#people #cosmetology #surgery #appearance #development

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There is a widely held perception in many parts of the world today that, nowadays more and more

people

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are interested in

cosmetology

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surgery

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to improve their appearance. There are several reasons for

this

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development. I think that it has negatively affected our lives and society. In my opinion, there are two main drawbacks to

this

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situation. In

this

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essay, I will briefly discuss some of the major causes of

this

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problem and

also

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offer some possible solutions to

this

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. First and foremost, I personally believe that

cosmetology

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surgery

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might be bad or become worse.

People

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, especially, women are trying to be beautiful and pretty girls.

However

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, surgeries have negatively affected our faces. I definitely disagree with

this

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trend. Because they can cause a lot of serious illnesses.

For

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this

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reason, it is harmful to our health.

On the other hand

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, many doctors

maybe do

Wrong verb form

may

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not know about operations. Yet, they want to earn more money. Because

people

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are ready to pay more money to improve their appearance. After the operation,they get worse and worse. Even

cosmetology

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surgery

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causes them to die.

For instance

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, I know one person who lived in the USA. He decided to take operation. After six months

surgery

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killed him. Despite

such

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grave drawbacks, I would like to say that beauty is important for our life and future.

For instance

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, if

people

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love themselves

then

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they do anything that they wish.

To conclude

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, I once reiterate my position that , nowadays the amount of

people

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who are choosing

cosmetology

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surgery

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is increasing. I personally believe that it is a negative development.

Submitted by asqar4997 on Wed Jan 25 2023

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task response

The essay addresses the topic of increasing interest in cosmetology surgery and discusses reasons and the writer's opinion on whether it is positive or negative. However, the points lack depth and clarity, leading to a limited response to the task.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. The progression of ideas is somewhat logical, but the development of main points is lacking in depth and coherence.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Some people believe that the government should fund art and culture, while others think that it should only fund sciences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Many working people get little or no execrise either during the working day or in their free time, and have helth problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? what can be done about this problem?

More and more people want to buy famous brands in clothes cars and other items . What are the reasons behind this trend? Do you think it is a positive or negative development