Many young people do not spend their holidays and weekends doing outdoor activities like hiking and climbing in natural environments. Why is this the case? How can they be encouraged to go out?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is an ongoing debate over the absence of outdoor
activities
Use synonyms
in many youngsters. There are several reasons for
this
Linking Words
phenomenon.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss the reasons for
this
Linking Words
and suggest ways to tackle it. The main reason teenagers spend their leisure time at home is the revolution of technology. Specifically, young people prefer spending their time on electrical devices rather than playing outside.
For instance
Linking Words
, many studies have shown that 75% of teenagers tend to entertain themselves at home via television and phone on weekends.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the lack of practical
activities
Use synonyms
in childhood can be seen as the culprit. To explain that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
many
parents
Use synonyms
these days limit their
children
Use synonyms
from taking part in outdoor
activities
Use synonyms
because they think it could bring some unpredictable injuries.
Hence
Linking Words
, those
children
Use synonyms
are likely to think hiking or climbing can hurt themselves and stay at home
instead
Linking Words
. Some actions should be taken to motivate
children
Use synonyms
to do outside
activities
Use synonyms
. Holding a competition with a reward can attract
children
Use synonyms
's interest.
In other words
Linking Words
, schools or local organizations can arrange a running competition, the winners can receive worthy rewards. In Vietnam, many schools have organized a race annually, which received positive changes in students'
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
play an important role in encouraging
children
Use synonyms
to not rely on electric devices. To illustrate,
parents
Use synonyms
can set up a picnic on the weekend, which helps to enhance relationships and prevent
children
Use synonyms
from playing phones. In conclusion, technological development has affected profoundly teenagers'
activities
Use synonyms
in their leisure time.
However
Linking Words
, I believe with the right solution, schools, and
parents
Use synonyms
can motivate
children
Use synonyms
to enjoy outdoor
activities
Use synonyms
by holding events or competitions to make them more interested.
Submitted by nguyenhung1705mmt on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay could benefit from more specific examples to illustrate your points. Try using data, anecdotes, or case studies to enhance your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to improve the logical structure. This will help guide the reader through your essay more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both well-presented, with clear statements regarding the topic and summarizing thoughts.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task effectively, giving reasons for the lack of outdoor activity among young people and providing suggestions for encouragement.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital entertainment
  • urbanization
  • peer influence
  • natural environments
  • engage in outdoor activities
  • lack of awareness
  • safety concerns
  • convenient
  • remote areas
  • benefits
  • unfamiliar areas
What to do next:
Look at other essays: