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Band 3.5

Some people think that foreign visitors should be charged more than local when they visit cultural and tourist attractions in a country. To what extent do you agree with this view?

#people #visitors #visit #tourist #attractions #country
In
contemporary
Correct article usage
the contemporary
show examples
 epoch,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries tend to attain more capital from tourism policy. Some individuals consider that the government couldn't
takes
Change the verb form
take
show examples
 measure
more
Change preposition
to more
show examples
 affordable
prices
 in favour of foreign tourists when they participate in local cultural activities. As a matter of fact, I partly agree with
this
 statement. In
this
 essay, I will illustrate the pros and cons of tourism policy based on my point of view and support it with examples as well.
To begin
 with, defining higher
prices
 is considered
fair
Correct article usage
a fair
show examples
 decision. Because people who come from other countries for certain purposes
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 example, visiting cultural monuments and places,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
make considerably the majority.
Therefore
 the government demand
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more money
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 better quality services, rebuilding the cultural proximity for
foreigns
Correct your spelling
foreign
show examples
. İf the
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
prices
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
offered
local
Change preposition
by local
show examples
 people, later
on
Add the comma(s)
,on
show examples
 the
foreign
Correct quantifier usage
more foreign
show examples
 visitors notice big differences, they normally think that it is
fraudulent
Add an article
a fraudulent
show examples
 transaction and avoid
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 unusual business policy. But most entrepreneurs don't tend to take a risk
about
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
 occasion.
To conclude
, if the regimen firmly
implemenses
Correct your spelling
implemented
implements
 some protocols regarding high
prices
Change preposition
of toursim
show examples
toursim
Correct your spelling
tourism
 services for all of them,
this
 implementation is not affordable for locals,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 foreigns who visit from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developed countries
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 have difficulties related to excessive
prices
.
Submitted by ilkinkarimov on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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