Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

#people #government #money #arts

Currently, the political authorities are encouraging the art field rather than others. Because there are more significant problems needs to be resolved which are the

health

and

also

includes

traffic

. I agree with

this

statement and explain with relevant examples

further

to support

this

view.

Firstly

, Art is not an emergency field that needs spending money

while

the public

health

services should be improved nowadays and the government needs to pay more attention to

this

problem because population

health

is the number one issue to manage so the number of deaths could be reduced as well.

For example

, Mongolian National Public

Health

Association announced a recent study that 70

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

of deaths are caused by illness, and it has been diagnosed lately. It means

people

do not care about their

health

, and there is no requirement for primary

health

services.

Secondly

traffic

jams have become a problem over the years unless the government takes care of them, they will have significant consequences in the future. If

people

spend more time in

traffic

, it could lead the stress and

also

anxiety.

For instance

people

spending 4 hours in

traffic

congestion are living in Ulaanbaatar city. So

that is

reducing life satisfaction and making

people

more deliberated.

To conclude

, a more specific field is having problems, so the government should spend money on resolving these problems more than building sculptures or any other art industry.

Submitted by sb.angar2011 on Thu Jan 26 2023

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

233 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

enriching society
promoting cultural understanding
development of talent
creative industries
economic benefits
generate revenue
cultural heritage
identity
prioritize spending
needs of the majority

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Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

Word Count

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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