IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many parts of the world, people rely on private cars for transportation. In what ways does reliance on private cars affect the way we live? Do the effects tend to be positive or negative?

It cannot be denied that in many countries private
cars
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 have become an inevitable part of transportation.
This
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 essay will discuss the ways in which relying on
cars
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 influences our lives and whether
this
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 influence is beneficial or not. Private
cars
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 definitely bring several benefits. Nowadays, most families own at least one or two vehicles, and in some
cases
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cases,
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 the number exceeds three. People use
cars
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 to commute, go shopping or travel as they provide comfort and flexibility. Having a
car
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 means you can travel whenever you want without limitations caused by public
transport
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 timetables.
Cars
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also
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 make long-distance travelling easier, especially in areas where public
transport
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 is limited or unreliable.
However
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, the disadvantages of
car
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 dependency outweigh the advantages.
Firstly
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, roads are often so congested, especially in big cities, that people may spend more than an hour stuck in traffic jams. In some regions
cars
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 are so common that it has become hardly possible to live without them.
For instance
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, certain states in the US are so
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car dependent
Use the right word
car-dependent
show examples
 that some areas do not even have pavements.
Additionally
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, the widespread use of
cars
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 reduces the demand for public
transport
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, which in turn leads to its decline.
This
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 creates a situation where people without
cars
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 face far fewer opportunities for travelling and mobility in general. And
last
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 but not least, mass
car
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 production and consumption have harmful effects on the environment, contributing to air pollution that negatively impacts public health. In conclusion,
while
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 private
cars
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 undoubtedly provide comfort and save time, their drawbacks are more significant.
Therefore
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, the best solution is to reduce the overreliance on
cars
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 and consider public
transport
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 as a no worse alternative.

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improvement
Use more clear facts or examples to back up the points.
improvement
Make the order smooth: start with intro, then ideas, then end.
improvement
Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence.
improvement
End with a strong final line that restates your view.
improvement
Check grammar and use simple words.
structure
The essay shows a clear plan with intro, body, and end.
content
It talks about good and bad points.
language
It uses linking words to join ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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