In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high schools and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

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In some
nations
Add a comma
,nations
show examples
young
students
Use synonyms
are pushed to work or
travel
Use synonyms
for a complete
year
Use synonyms
between finishing
hig
Correct your spelling
high
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
and starting college. Some of the advantages are discovering what they really like in life and some
decided
Wrong verb form
deciding
show examples
to live abroad and
study
Use synonyms
in a foreign country.
However
Linking Words
, the disadvantages are that some might lose attention to
Use synonyms
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
a degree and others might decide to pursue an illusion
such
Linking Words
becoming
Change preposition
as becoming
show examples
actors. One of the advantages is that many of these
students
Use synonyms
travel
Use synonyms
to take
time
Use synonyms
and think
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
what they might like to
study
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
is
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
time
Use synonyms
to really discover what might be an
iterested
Correct your spelling
interested
degree to
study
Use synonyms
for.
Also
Linking Words
, some of them ask for a piece of
advise
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advice
show examples
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
elderly people
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to who
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who
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whom
show examples
they talk to. Another advantage is that they decided to live abroad and stay there to
study
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
a foreign university to expand their knowledge. More importantly, they have the
opportuniry
Correct your spelling
opportunity
to know a foreign culture for a
completely
Replace the word
complete
show examples
year
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and learn a second language. To explain
further
Linking Words
, in the United States most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teens
travel
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around the country for a
year
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to take
time
Use synonyms
and decided
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
their careers at university, and
this
Linking Words
gave them a much better way to
discoverwhat
Correct your spelling
discover what
degree
Correct article usage
the degree
show examples
they want to obtain. One of the disadvantages is that many of these young
students
Use synonyms
might
lost
Change the verb form
lose
be lost
show examples
themselves in
this
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
period and many of them
abandone
Correct your spelling
abandoned
abandon
their educational goals.
Besides
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, most of them start working at night clubs and they feel happy to earn some money, and
this
Linking Words
eventually
make
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makes
show examples
them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
reject school. Another disadvantage is that having
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
way of earning money help them to buy
brand-clothing
Correct your spelling
brand clothing
show examples
and live in a luxurious way, and
therefore
Linking Words
, some of them decided to become actors or influencer. To explain my point, Los Angeles California is a city full of young
students
Use synonyms
who work at restaurants and
night-clubs
Correct your spelling
nightclubs
show examples
with the illusion of
becomign
Correct your spelling
becoming
the next
hollywood
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Hollywood
show examples
start
Correct your spelling
star
show examples
. To conclude, in many countries young
students
Use synonyms
are pushed to take a
year
Use synonyms
to
travel
Use synonyms
or work which let them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
expand their choices and gain knowledge;
however
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,
this
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might have some drawbacks
such
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as forgetting to pursue an educational goal and dreaming to become
a famous actors
Correct the article-noun agreement
a famous actor
famous actors
show examples
.
Submitted by cuevas14dic on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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