Doctors, nurses and teachers make a great contribution society and should be payed more than entertainment and sports celebrities.

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I
am agree
Change the verb form
agree
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with
this
Linking Words
because
doctors
Use synonyms
have
important
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an important
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place in our life. They to heal us and
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
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must pay them more As
well
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good
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teachers
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teaching us without
them
Add a comma
,them
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there will be no
doctors
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, there will be no groomsmen, there will be no policemen etc. And Sport
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is
hobby
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a hobby
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. It is not
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a profession
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profession
Replace the word
professional
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because of
this
Linking Words
government must pay more for
doctors
Use synonyms
and
teachers
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, it is true that sports are good for health but officials must not pay for sport any more. They necessary
payed
Correct your spelling
paid
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for education and hospitals
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
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is important for
state
Add an article
the state
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. The state has to pay a lot of
teachers
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for their merits because they deserved it and so are the
doctors
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.
In
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On
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the ground 50%
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teachers
Change preposition
of teachers
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not
Add a missing verb
are not
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provided with money. The government should pay them, not for sports, etc.
This
Linking Words
is my idea and I think so
Submitted by ina1_95 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribution
  • essential services
  • long hours
  • stressful
  • well-being
  • development
  • entertain
  • inspire
  • exorbitant salaries
  • unfair
  • talented individuals
  • professions
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