`Nowadays, a lot of information about medical conditions and illnesses is freely available on the internet. Is this a good thing or a bad thing for most people? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
At the present time, a lot of
information
about medicines and illnesses is available on the Internet without any cause. According to
me, it is a dangerous thing because this
information
can be misunderstood. Anyone who is not well educated can cause health problems by using that information
.
The good thing about the information
available on the internet for free is that it can be used during an emergency which can save a person's life from serious damage.For example
, I had a headache a few days back from now, and no one was at home who could take me to the hospital so I searched online for a solution it told me that i
could take Panadol for the head pain and it gave me the list of reasons which causes pain in the head.
Change the capitalization
I
On the other hand
, there are a lot of disadvantages to free knowledge about medicines and illnesses that are available online. A person who has not studied medicine can be misled by this
information
. He can take the wrong medicines for the wrong disease. For instance
, A child in our family was sick. He was not educated. When he was sick he searched for the cure, online. He did not understand the whole thing that he found online, about the illness. As a result
, he took the wrong medicine. Afterwards, he was admitted to the hospital for several weeks just because of the data that he misunderstood and then
taking
the wrong medicine.
In conclusion, we can say that Wrong verb form
took
although
,
there are advantages of Remove the comma
apply
information
being available online for free, there are disadvantages at the same time which can be more dangerous.In my opinion, I think that this
type of information
should not be available online because it can cause serious health issues and As we know "Health is the most precious thing in the world".Submitted by Saad Kamal on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear position on the topic and includes relevant examples, which is great. However, try to expand your arguments with more details and complexities. For instance, discuss how people misuse medical information in different scenarios and elaborate on the danger of self-diagnosis more comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your essay by ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. For instance, your second body paragraph could benefit from a clearer topic sentence that links it to the previous paragraph. This would help create a more coherent and well-structured argument.
general
Be cautious with small grammar and punctuation errors. For example, 'Anyone who is not well educated can cause health problems by using that information' should be 'Anyone who is not well-educated might misinterpret this information and cause health problems.' Also, make sure to capitalize 'i' to 'I'.
task achievement
Your use of personal examples is effective in illustrating your points. This adds a personal touch and makes your essay more relatable.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay nicely. They summarize the main points and restate your position clearly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.