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Band 7

Task 2: In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government has the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #children #people #government #responsibility
In
this
 contemporary world, we all agree that eating fancy junk
food
 is liked and favoured by most of us.These days
children
 are becoming overweight and unhealthy as they are more inclined towards junk foods.
This
 trend is mostly because of the modern lifestyle provided by the
parents
 of the
children
.
Hence
, I strongly disagree that the government has the responsibility to fix
this
 problem.
To begin
 with, nowadays,
parents
 are seen to be involved and engaged in their professional life to the extent that the health aspect of their
children
 is compromised. To illustrate, we might have seen many working couples order
food
 for their
children
 as they have some important meetings at their workplaces.
Also
,
this
 market has become extremely accessible and cheap so that anyone can order anytime from their smartphone.
For example
, one can easily use Zomato to order
food
 conveniently from their home.
However
,
this
food
 industry has grown enormously with the support of the government. But, it would be unfair to blame the government for the misuse of it
that is
 leading to obese
children
. It is
also
 understandable that affluent
parents
 want their
children
 to be exposed to many kinds of
food
 and
also
 provide a good modern lifestyle.
Nevertheless
, they should
also
 understand the significance of good nutrition in maintaining good holistic health.
Therefore
, modern
parents
 should not encourage outside eating very frequently even if they can afford it. To sum it up, it is accepted that these days families are engaged in their busy working lives but,
parents
 should be mindful towards their
children
's eating habits.
Submitted by IRWIN.RITIKA on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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