IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount that people can earn.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#countries #people #salaries #country #government #control #limit #amount
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In some nations, a minor percentage of professionals earn extremely high incomes.
However
Linking Words
, some folks argue that
this
Linking Words
 might be productive for the global economy,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that governments must intervene by controlling how much citizens should earn. Personally, I am strongly convinced that salaries may remain uncontrolled. On the one hand, we are living in a democratic world, where residents can choose which type of education they want to pursue or what job they would prefer to do.
Hence
Linking Words
, a percentage of people might be able to receive higher education than others,
thus
Linking Words
 paving the way to receive better job opportunities,
at the end
Linking Words
 of their studies. The past thirty years have seen a fast increase in the number of students who have completed a master's or a bachelor's degree.
For instance
Linking Words
, recent research has proven that a significant amount of graduates, coming from Harvard or Standford, receive a monthly income ten times higher than the nation's average salary.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, implementing a regulated income system might solve disparities between populations and distribute more money to those in need. An enormous number of people work in standard industries,
thus
Linking Words
 their income is not sufficient to maintain their families.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they might not be able to receive higher education,
hence
Linking Words
 having fewer job opportunities to choose from. Governments may be able to stem these differences by enacting an equal salary system, which could
also
Linking Words
 result in a reduced criminality rate.
To sum up
Linking Words
, even though a controlled system might be perceived as a fair act by the authorities,
this
Linking Words
 might not be sufficient to solve a country's issues.
Submitted by elena.panaite93 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • wealth inequality
  • economic growth
  • motivation
  • talent acquisition
  • consumer spending
  • tax revenue
  • redistributing wealth
  • market forces
  • income disparity
  • social stability
  • freedom of choice
  • meritocracy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: