IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Wealth does not necessarily guaranty happiness. To whant extant do you agree with this statement

#wealth #guaranty #happiness #whant
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It is said,that you can buy everything except happiness.In my opinion,
money
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 plays a big role in our life.
However
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.nowadays they started to be not only a way of trading but
also
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 a way of joy.
Firstly
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,From ancient times communities used
money
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 and coins.They have been made from different materials,
however
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,they always have been used for trading.In the modern,world we study and
then
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 work for
money
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.It is said:"
Money
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 makes the world go round".I completely agree with
this
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 statement.Now wealth started to be a kind of obsession.
People
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 don't feel joy from their job,they only do it for the
money
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.Our lives turned into a race,where we compete who makes more
money
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.
Due to
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 ,
this
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 we started to use
money
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 in incorrect ways.
Hence
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 apply
this
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 we just waste them on useless things.
Secondly
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,our world is easy for those who make a killing.
Money
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 can deal with all of your problems.
Hence
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 to,
this
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 you
also
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 can you them to make you happy,because in some cases they can do it easily.The perfect example of it is death diseases.Of course,poor
people
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 can't afford to pay all the bills for it.Mainly the hospital just let those
people
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 die.
However
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,if you are wealthy you can afford everything.For your
money
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 you can treat any disease,the question is how much
money
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 can you give.
However
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,
people
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 have to remember that we all are mortal and someday we are going to die.At that moment no
money
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 is able to save you. In conclusion,happiness is a thing that we live for.For,everyone it differs.
However
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,it is better to cry in a luxurious car than to smile on a bicycle
Submitted by andriykolomiyets12 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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