IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that nowadays we have too much choices. To what extend do you agree and disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own kn0owledge of experience. Write at least 150 words.

#people #choices #kn0owledge
At present, most
of
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apply
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people
Add an article
the people
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 have
an
Correct article usage
the
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 idea that we have more
options
 than our ancient ancestors.
On the other hand
, others believe that we have limited
options
 during our
life time
Correct your spelling
lifetime
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 and ancient
people
 had more alternatives than us. In
this
 essay, I suppose that we are the luckiest
one
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ones
show examples
 but some sort of
reasons
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reason
show examples
 cause
to
Correct pronoun usage
us to
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 break down and prove past
people
 had
options
 to succeed
their
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in their
show examples
 lives.
Firstly
, with the advancement of science and
technology
people
 innovate so many devices and chances to change
our
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
life
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lives
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according to
our
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their
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 desire.
For instance
, if a woman doesn’t like her physical appearance, and she has enough money, she can do
a
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apply
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plastic surgery. Not only that but
also
,
people
 believed that education was the only way to grow up reputation and wealth but now youngsters have many alternatives
such
 as doing youtube videos, innovating new
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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, etc.
Moreover
,
the
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apply
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human life becomes complex and
people
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people's
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 needs become multiple,
as a result
of
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apply
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that the
options
also
 grow
parallely
Correct your spelling
parallel
parallelly
.
However
, our ancestors lived by fulfilling their basic needs. Somehow, they managed their goals successfully more than us.
For example
,
people
 had so many foods to eat though they had travelling limitations and they used basic
technology
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techniques
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 to protect their
meal
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meals
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.
Furthermore
, they lived longer than us, though we have medical facilities which combine with
high quality
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high-quality
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technology
. Eventually,
according to
the
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apply
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Buddhist philosophy choices are made by
people
 not
the
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apply
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technology
 or
time lines
Correct your spelling
timelines
show examples
.
To sum up
, I can conclude that, modern men have more optimistic
options
 to spend their lives than past men.
Submitted by kavindianjalee on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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