IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that nowadays we have too much choices. To what extend do you agree and disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own kn0owledge of experience. Write at least 150 words.

#people #choices #kn0owledge
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At present, most
of
Change preposition
apply
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Use synonyms
people
Add an article
the people
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 have
an
Correct article usage
the
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 idea that we have more
options
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 than our ancient ancestors.
On the other hand
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, others believe that we have limited
options
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 during our
life time
Correct your spelling
lifetime
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 and ancient
people
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 had more alternatives than us. In
this
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 essay, I suppose that we are the luckiest
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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 but some sort of
reasons
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reason
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 cause
to
Correct pronoun usage
us to
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 break down and prove past
people
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 had
options
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 to succeed
their
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in their
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 lives.
Firstly
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, with the advancement of science and
technology
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people
Use synonyms
 innovate so many devices and chances to change
our
Correct pronoun usage
their
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life
Replace the word
lives
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according to
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our
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 desire.
For instance
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, if a woman doesn’t like her physical appearance, and she has enough money, she can do
a
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apply
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plastic surgery. Not only that but
also
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,
people
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 believed that education was the only way to grow up reputation and wealth but now youngsters have many alternatives
such
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 as doing youtube videos, innovating new
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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, etc.
Moreover
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,
the
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apply
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human life becomes complex and
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people
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people's
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 needs become multiple,
as a result
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of
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apply
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that the
options
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also
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 grow
parallely
Correct your spelling
parallel
parallelly
.
However
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, our ancestors lived by fulfilling their basic needs. Somehow, they managed their goals successfully more than us.
For example
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,
people
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 had so many foods to eat though they had travelling limitations and they used basic
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technology
Replace the word
techniques
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 to protect their
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
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.
Furthermore
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, they lived longer than us, though we have medical facilities which combine with
high quality
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high-quality
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technology
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. Eventually,
according to
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the
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apply
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Buddhist philosophy choices are made by
people
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 not
the
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apply
show examples
technology
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 or
time lines
Correct your spelling
timelines
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.
To sum up
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, I can conclude that, modern men have more optimistic
options
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 to spend their lives than past men.
Submitted by kavindianjalee on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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