In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?
In today's society, college
students
prefer to stay with their families, while
other students
choose to go to the other city
for education. However
living with the family during education can guarantee that we have supporters on our side, and students
become more responsible while
living alone in the other city
to pursue their dreams. I believe, the advantages of living far away from families, outweigh the disadvantages.
On one hand, the primary benefit of living away from home is the significant opportunity to develop our personal abilities. When new students
move to the new city
, they encounter a challenge about how to adapt and survive by themselves. Students
have to learn basic life skills such
as cooking, cleaning the room, and groceries. Other than that, students
have to understand budgeting, and really crucial to control their living expenses. For instance
, students
record all their expenses every month, so they can evaluate their cash flow every month and as a result
, they can have their money management and maybe they also
have savings.
On the other hand
, letting students
stay alone in the new cities, brings potential disadvantages because feeling isolation and loneliness. Students
have to pretend to be as strong as they can with themself. Moving to new cities often brings unexpected hardship, which leads to emotional uncontrol. In their hometown, students
usually have their parents and siblings as a place to share their thoughts and problems, while
in a new city
, they need to put a boundary with their friends at the beginning of moving. For example
, A new student with high aspirations may feel overwhelmed by loneliness in a strange city
, leading to decreased motivation.
In conclusion, living away from home during university offers opportunities for self-improvement, such
as gaining independence and life skills. However
, it can also
lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness. Balancing these aspects is essential for academics as they navigate this
important period in their lives.Submitted by yannn
on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph maintains a clear focus and logically connects to the next. Try to make transitions smoother.
task achievement
Although the essay clearly addresses both sides of the argument, further elaboration on the disadvantages could provide more balance.
coherence cohesion
The essay effectively provides an introduction and conclusion, summarizing the main points.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well-supported with examples, which helps in illustrating the arguments clearly.
task achievement
The task is fully addressed, with a clear stance on the advantages and disadvantages.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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