Nowadays people are spending more time away from home, because they spend longer time in their workplace. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages?

#people #time #home #workplace

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In the present day and age, many individuals allocate the majority of their time at

work

Use synonyms

rather than at home.

This

Linking Words

essay will analyze both the merits and demerits of

this

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aforementioned notion as shall be elaborated presently.

To begin

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with, there are sundry reasons people prefer to

work

Use synonyms

extended hours.

One

Use synonyms

of the most significant is to mould their lives into a luxurious

lifestyles

Correct the article-noun agreement

lifestyle

show examples

In other words

Linking Words

, owing to increasing the cost of living in

this

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hustle-bustle span,

one

Use synonyms

can resolve their financial burden by working long hours. As wages are directly proportional to the number of working hours;

thus

Linking Words

, it may lead to more earnings which enhances their purchasing power.

In addition

Linking Words

, in order to get a promotion, employees tend to show themselves as workaholics person which not only improves their skills but

also

Linking Words

makes them accountable and reliable

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

one

Use synonyms

On the other hand

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. Despite the above advantages, it has deleterious impacts on personal life.

That is

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to say, if somebody constantly shells out the majority portion at

work

Use synonyms

, couples

as well as

Linking Words

families perhaps could not share their issues or devastate their relationship bonds with each other;

As a result

Linking Words

, the person may undergo stress and anxiety, and even more mental health issues may occur

such

Linking Words

as depression.

Furthermore

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, since someone prefers to

work

Use synonyms

, it eventually results in physical health problems

in particular

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, namely obesity, high cholesterol and type 2 diabetes which is a commonly witnessed phenomenon in these contemporary eras. In view arguments outlined above

one

Use synonyms

can conclude that,

although

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money plays a crucial role in everyone's lives, disturbance or ruining personal relationships for the sake of financial growth are dire to ignore.

Submitted by rajputashutosh0009 on Mon Dec 02 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on strengthening the logical structure by ensuring clear transitions between ideas and paragraphs.

task achievement

Include more relevant and specific examples to support your points effectively.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, giving the essay a complete feel.

task achievement

Ideas are generally clear and comprehensive, making the essay easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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Nowadays people are spending more time away from home, because they spend longer time in their workplace. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In some countries,young people are encouraged to work or travel between finishing high school and high school school.Discuss the advantages and the disadvantages for young people who decides to do so

International travel is becoming cheaper, and more and more countries open their door and with more and more tourists. Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh its disadvantages?

Prevention is more important than cure. researching and treating disease is very costly, so it is better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that menand women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree.