IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people,however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#governments #progress #people #country
Governments
 have their own way to make their
country
 successful, as many of the
governments
 envision that economic progress is their priority goal. As for me, I strongly believe that others like living with peace and harmony
as well as
sustanable
Correct your spelling
sustainable
 living are equally important. Most
governments
Change noun form
government's
governments'
show examples
 major goal is the economic progress of their
country
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will solve a lot of problems like
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 unemployment,
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
ease poverty, and
stable
Correct article usage
a stable
show examples
 economy for
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 citizens.
Furthermore
, it will stand out to
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
 and gain more support
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 other countries, if they are progressive.
This
 is probably the reason why many
governments
 focus on their economic progress.
Whereas
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 there are
also
 important factors to consider in building a good
country
,
for instance
 , the
governments
 should consider that the citizens are enjoying peace and prosperity
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
country
 they are living in, for
this
 way they will be satisfied and happy,
moreover
, it is
also
 crucial for the
country
 to pursue the sustainable living, in order for the citizens will live more healthy and longer. In conclusion, most
governments
concentrating
Wrong verb form
concentrate
show examples
 on the economic growth of their
country
 to give
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 people
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial stability,
while
 other factors are equally important like
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
happiness and peace for them to enjoy their
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 rights
as well as
living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
healthy
Change the word
healthily
show examples
.
Submitted by leoriemadeo1287 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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