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These days, more and more people move away from the area where they were born and brought up when they become adults. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #move #area #adults #development
In
this
 modern life,
people
 have many opportunities to explore and live their life to the fullest. Young
people
 nowadays tend to move from where they are coming from to a new
place
 when they grow up. Moving out
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 our homeland has many
benefits
 and
drawbacks
. I firmly believe, its
benefits
 outweigh the
drawbacks
 in many aspects. There are reasons why young
people
 migrate from their hometown, one of them is because they seek better opportunities to live their lives. Moving to a new
place
 gives
benefits
 to these young
people
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they can find more variety of jobs and study fields, especially when they moved from a rural
place
 to a big city. Another advantage that they might have is the opportunity to expand their networking to a wider range of communities. Knowing
people
 from many backgrounds will help them to grow as better
people
 which will be beneficial for their future careers. In spite of its
benefits
, there are
also
 several negative sides
regarding
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 movement.
Firstly
, these youngsters will experience loneliness during the first three months of moving away. It happened because
in
Add the comma(s)
,in
show examples
 the new
place
, they will live apart from their friends and family which makes them encounter a lack of support.
This
 kind of situation can increase the probability of getting stressed and lonely. These
drawbacks
 of migrating to new places can be tackled by maintaining a good relationship with their family and friends through online communication which will help them to get through the adaptation phase smoothly. In conclusion, moving away from their hometown is still give more beneficial to them rather than its
drawbacks
.
Submitted by fazria.ayuandina on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • metropolitan
  • migration
  • globalization
  • socio-economic factors
  • traditional norms
  • cosmopolitan environment
  • brain drain
  • assimilation
  • gentrification
  • alienation
  • multiculturalism
  • infrastructure strain
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