A lot of money is spent on repairing old buildings. Instead of repairing old buildings that money should be spent on knocking down old building and building new ones. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#money #buildings #ones

this

contemporary

era

Add a comma

,era

show examples

there is a heated argument over the issue that more

money

is spent on the renovation

Change preposition

show examples

ancient

buildings

.A majority of society favour that

instead

repairing of old

buildings

money

should be spent on distorted

down

Change preposition

apply

show examples

ancient structures and building

Add an article

show examples

new

building

Fix the agreement mistake

buildings

show examples

.Others ,

however

, go

Change preposition

apply

show examples

opposite to it.I fully accord with

this

statement.I will discuss

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the logical conclusion in the upcoming paragraph. There is adequate evidence of

this

view which are substantial.The first and foremost one is repairing old

buildings

is not a safe location.

However

,there are a lot of chances to get damaged again

as well as

it is not safe from natural disasters

such

as earthquakes,

flood

Fix the agreement mistake

floods

show examples

etc.Adding more to it nowadays

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

are very stingy to spend

money

house

Fix the agreement mistake

houses

show examples

buildings

instead

of new making

buildings

they like renovating the old

buildings

Additionally

Add a comma

,Additionally

show examples

some

prople

Correct your spelling

people

think

Correct word choice

that

show examples

spend

Wrong verb form

spending

show examples

money

on new

buildings

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

madness.

Consequently

even the renovation of

buildings

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will

easy

Change the word

easily

show examples

spoil earlier and

also

Add a missing verb

be a

show examples

waste of time and

money

. Probing ahead in

this

modern era most of the places were constructed

Correct your spelling

show examples

new

buildingbuildings

Correct your spelling

building buildings

Besides

that nowadays architecture and engineering are

well trained

Add a hyphen

well-trained

show examples

and educated they make new

buildings

in modern style and fully

safety

Replace the word

safe

show examples

with

Change preposition

from

show examples

all-natural calamities.

Although

making a new building

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

also

takes

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

less consumption of

lands

Fix the agreement mistake

land

show examples

as well as

its

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

consumes less time and

money

.Whilst governments

also

should have to take strict action on old

buildings

and they have to make new

buildings

with modern design

Change preposition

at in

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

affordable price. To recapitulate,

according to

my opinion new style

buildings

are

Change the word

apply

show examples

stronger and much better

instead

of old

buildings

Admittedy

Correct your spelling

Admittedly

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

live a good life and feel more

protective

Replace the word

protected

show examples

in new

buildings

Submitted by sharma1997.rahulthakur on Mon Jan 30 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

284 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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A lot of money is spent on repairing old buildings. Instead of repairing old buildings that money should be spent on knocking down old building and building new ones. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think reading stories in books is better than watching TV or playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that anyone can create art such as painting, poetry, music and so on. Others think that a person should have special abilities to create art. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is a growing demand for fresh water nowadays and this is becoming a global problem. What are the causes and solutions?