IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#computers #education #people #trend #consequences #argument
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, there are more
people
Use synonyms
 and schools who use
computers
Use synonyms
 in
education
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that using
Use synonyms
Add an article
a computer
the computer
show examples
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 for
education
Use synonyms
 could lead to many negative
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
. In my opinion, using advanced technology in
education
Use synonyms
 can contribute to
improve
Change the verb form
improving
show examples
student’s
Fix the agreement mistake
students’
show examples
 study experience.
Computers
Use synonyms
 are convenient in
education
Use synonyms
 for both teachers and
students
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, during the Covid-19 pandemic, many
school
Change to a plural noun
schools
show examples
over
Change preposition
around
show examples
 the globe have adapted to online teaching which allowed
students
Use synonyms
 to use their own electronic devices to attend
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lesson and complete their academic year.
Moreover
Linking Words
, more than 90% of
people
Use synonyms
 have their own
Use synonyms
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 these days, which means it is common for
students
Use synonyms
 to have their own
Use synonyms
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, most
students
Use synonyms
 are familiar with digital technology and have access to it, making
this
Linking Words
 model of studying highly convenient.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, studying online can be more environmentally friendly
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that schools do not need to print, so it can reduce paper usage and deforestation. Cause of that there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 many positive points in schooling because of
Use synonyms
Add an article
the computer
a computer
show examples
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are several disadvantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 using
computers
Use synonyms
.
Students
Use synonyms
 especially children who are younger, they
narrow minded
Add a hyphen
narrow-minded
show examples
, so they might
addicted
Change the verb form
be addicted
show examples
 to it. It is difficult for children to concentrate on the lesson, as the
computers
Use synonyms
 might distract them from their focus.
Moreover
Linking Words
, long screen time might bring several health issues
such
Linking Words
 as eyesight problems and obesity.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
 conclusion, the drawbacks of using
computers
Use synonyms
 in teaching can be decreased through proper guidance and monitoring, and
this
Linking Words
 technology can bring greater benefits to young
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 work especially for
leaning
Correct your spelling
learning
show examples
. A suggestion would be that schools use
computers
Use synonyms
 to improve
student’s
Fix the agreement mistake
students’
show examples
 learning but have
limit
Wrong verb form
limited
show examples
 screen time.
Submitted by pcamps.pr on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: