At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Compare and contrast the advantages & disadvantages

#time #population #countries #adults #people #contrast

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It has been witnessed recently in some countries a considerable percentage of young people as compared to the old ones.

However

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such

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a phenomenon has both advantages and disadvantages as will be presented in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with the advantageous sides. It is well known that any country, that has a young population more than elderly individuals, is described as a strong nation for many reasons.

Firstly

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, its members are active and productive.

In other words

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such

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countries do not need foreign employment,

instead

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, they have local minds and workers, who are able to develop and compete with other nations.

Secondly

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, the young adults are usually in a healthy condition, in the sense that, they do not need governmental expenditures as elderly individuals who need costly medical care.

On the other hand

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, it can not be denied that the competition to find jobs will be tough.

Consequently

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, wages will decline as the workforce becomes available. Meaning that the incomes and the life conditions would not be on a good level.

For example

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, workers in Bangladesh get lower wage averages if compared to those in

another country

Fix the agreement mistake

other countries

show examples

To sum up

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, the aforementioned points clearly highlight both the merits and the demerits.

Any way

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Anyway

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it can easily be noticed that the downsides of

this

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issue are eclipsed by its benefits

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apply

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because there would not be any achievements or developments without young members.

Submitted by nawartomry on Mon Aug 26 2024

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task achievement

While the essay addresses the task adequately, it could benefit from more specific examples or data to support the points made. This would strengthen the argument and provide clearer evidence for the claims.

task achievement

Some points, especially in the drawbacks section, could be elaborated further. Providing more details would help in explaining the ideas comprehensively.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Using more transition words and phrases can help in maintaining coherence and guiding the reader through the argument.

task achievement

Try to provide more balanced arguments. While the essay does address both advantages and disadvantages, the discussion could be more evenly distributed to give a clearer comparison.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-structured. They provide a clear overview and summary of the topic, respectively.

coherence cohesion

The main points are relevant and clearly presented. Each paragraph has a focused idea which makes the essay easy to follow.

coherence cohesion

The use of linking words and phrases, such as 'Firstly', 'In other words', and 'To sum up', helps in guiding the reader through the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

232 words

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Compare and contrast the advantages & disadvantages

Your opinion

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is happening? Do you think this will have a possitive or negative impact on society

In a number of countries , some people think it is necessary to spend large sum of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

write a referral letter to an orthopedist

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?