The desire for higher status or greater wealth than others is what motivates most people to succeed in this world. To what extent do you agree with the statement? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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In recent years, most people have been eager to achieve wealth and the desire for money motivates people to succeed. Technological development made our lives much better, and consumerism emerged. Now people like to show off their high life online, and the masses want to be one of them. In my opinion, I agree with the statement for two reasons.

Firstly

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, we can now easily approach luxury goods. With the emergence of Social Network Services, now we can share our day-to-day lives.

For example

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, your friend Emily bought a new Louis Vuitton bag and she looks so happy. But

in contrast

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, you don't have any luxurious things in your closet. You wanted one and started to work to get it. In

this

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short story, showing off your wealth is now

Correct article usage

the

show examples

content of our lives and it can motivate someone to want to be like them.

Secondly

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, wealth serves as a motivator as it provides individuals with access to better opportunities, lifestyle choices, and financial security. Examples can be seen in entrepreneurs who strive for financial success to improve their living conditions and support their families. From my experience, my parents used to live poor when they were young. As they grow up, they want to let their kid do whatever they want because they can't do what they want to do. To summarise, many individuals are driven by the desire for higher status, believing that it enhances their self-worth and societal recognition.

This

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can be seen in the corporate world where promotions and titles hold significant importance.

ihjung2000Tue Feb 11 2025

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task achievement

Your introduction presents your opinion clearly, but it could be enhanced by providing a brief overview of your arguments. Consider outlining the main points you'll discuss.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to improve logical flow. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.

task achievement

While your personal example is good, expanding on it with more detail would strengthen your argument and provide clearer relevance to the topic.

task achievement

Your essay reflects a clear understanding of the topic and presents a strong opinion. The use of personal experience makes your argument relatable and engaging.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

motivation
success
status
wealth
self-worth
societal recognition
financial security
entrepreneurs
social comparisons
cultural perspectives
social identity
fulfillment
intrinsic factors
passion
purpose
impact
driving force
aspiration

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The desire for higher status or greater wealth than others is what motivates most people to succeed in this world. To what extent do you agree with the statement? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that some unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (e.g. working in a charity, improving the relationship of neighborhood or teaching sports to children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

In order to have a successful organization, managers should consider more than salary or wages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that public health is the responsibility of the government while others think that people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.