In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extend do you think is a positive trand?

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In today’s rapidly changing world, the evolution of shopping from a routine domestic task into a
hobby
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has become a subject of heated debate.
While
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some people argue that treating shopping as a leisure activity promotes creativity and stimulates economic growth, others contend that it encourages overconsumption and materialism. I firmly believe that
regarding
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apply
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shopping as a
hobby
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is a positive trend because of its ability to drive innovation in retail and enhance social interactions. One significant reason supporting
this
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view is that shopping as a
hobby
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encourages individuals to explore and express their personal tastes, which in turn drives retailers to diversify and innovate.
This
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is primarily because consumers who view shopping as a form of leisure are more inclined to seek out unique and quality products, leading to the development of niche
markets
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and creative retail experiences.
For instance
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, the rise of
specialty
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speciality
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boutiques and artisanal
markets
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in many cities demonstrates how consumer interests can fuel the growth of innovative and vibrant shopping environments.
Thus
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,
this
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factor clearly demonstrates the need for businesses to adapt and flourish in response to evolving consumer trends. Another important aspect to consider is the social and recreational value that shopping as a
hobby
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brings.
This
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factor is crucial because leisure activities, including shopping, can offer a relaxing break from daily stresses
while
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fostering community interactions.
For example
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, events like local
markets
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, pop-up shops, and fashion fairs not only provide entertainment but
also
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create opportunities for socializing and community engagement.
Consequently
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,
while
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there is a risk of overconsumption, the benefits of cultural enrichment and enhanced social connectivity
further
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emphasize the positive impact of
this
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trend. In summary, the innovative stimulation of retail
markets
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and the social benefits associated with shopping as a
hobby
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lead to the conclusion that
this
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trend is largely positive.
Therefore
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, when managed responsibly,
this
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shift in consumer
behavior
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behaviour
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could have profound benefits for both society and the economy.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines your arguments, but consider strengthening your thesis statement by briefly mentioning potential counterarguments to add depth.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have structured your argument well with distinct paragraphs; keep ensuring that each idea transitions smoothly to the next for improved flow.
Task Achievement
While your main points are effectively supported, enriching your discussion on the risks of overconsumption could enhance your overall argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
Task Achievement
You provided relevant examples that effectively illustrate your main points, adding credibility to your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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