IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

🔶More and more people are eating healthy food and exercising regularly. 🔸What are the reasons for that? What can we do to make other people do the same?

#🔶more #people #food #🔸what
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In recent years, it is getting popular to hire a personal coach to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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exercise
Use synonyms
 safely in a gym and
also
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 are more
concern
Replace the word
concerned
show examples
 about what they eat because social media are full of articles
witten
Correct your spelling
written
 about healthy diets. On the hand,
becaues
Correct your spelling
because
 of the
enconomy
Correct your spelling
economy
 has increased and
techonology
Correct your spelling
technology
 has developed,
people
Use synonyms
 can afford a better life
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and get more information about health. There are several ways to help
people
Use synonyms
 get
motivations
Fix the agreement mistake
motivation
show examples
 on doing
exercise
Use synonyms
 and eat
healthy
Change the adjective
healthily
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, many social platforms support some influencers to record their daily life which about how they
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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exercise
Use synonyms
, and what
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
they eat in general to inspire followers
keep
Add the particle
to keep
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 doing on their way.
Therefore
Linking Words
, influencers
also
Linking Words
 make some chat groups to make their fans discuss
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many common problems which can help
people
Use synonyms
 cheer up each other when they are upset.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is an important part of education within the lessons at school and
families
Change preposition
with families
show examples
. Though everyone will learn the knowledge at school or online platforms
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
it is better to encourage
people
Use synonyms
follow
Add the particle
to follow
show examples
 the same way at home
first,
Linking Words
if every family members do it:
exercise
Use synonyms
 and healthy diet at the same time and continue doing it as a habit, it will become
nature
Replace the word
natural
show examples
 to follow. In conclusion, even though
people
Use synonyms
 start from different reasons and steps, afterwards,
people
Use synonyms
 are cooking healthy food and
doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
exercise
Use synonyms
 regularly because they
are care
Change the verb form
care
show examples
 about
themselve
Correct your spelling
themselves
.
Submitted by zoe20130402 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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