IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

SOME PEOPLE SAY HISTORY IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANCE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL. OTHER THINKS IN TODAY'S WORLD SUBJECT LIKE SCIENCE AND TECHONOGY ARE MORE IMPORTANCE THAN HISTORY. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION.

#people #history #importance #school #world #science #techonogy
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The discussion of ancient culture is surely one that begs the question of exactly how it creates
Correct article usage
a hug
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hug
Correct your spelling
huge
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 impact on subjects like
science
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 and
technology
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. In my opinion,
due to
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evolution
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the evolution
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 of gadgets and
demanding
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the demanding
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 value of
medical
Add an article
the medical
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 stream,
students
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 are losing interest in subjects
such
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 as
,
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apply
show examples
history
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.
However
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, in
this
Linking Words
essay
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,essay
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 I will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views. One clear fact is that awareness among young youth
for
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of
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 their civilization has become appalling.
For instance
Linking Words
,
students
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 have started disliking
history
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lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
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 in their academic period, as per oxford
university
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university's
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 professor it has been
observe
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observing
observed
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 that only 2% of
people
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 are taking admission
for
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to
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history
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 classes, 10%
for
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to
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 commerce, 58%
for
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to
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 IT and
remaining
Correct article usage
the remaining
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students
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are belong
Change the verb form
belong
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 to
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science
Correct article usage
the science
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 stream.
Furthermore
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, I
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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strong
Change the word
strongly
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 thoughts that
history
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 must
gets
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get
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same
Correct article usage
the same
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 importance as compared to
science
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 and
technology
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.
Although
Linking Words
, learning about events which occurred in past, might feel
depressed
Replace the word
depressing
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 but on
other hand
Change the wording
another hand
other hands
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, we can gain knowledge which would be useful in leaving
happy
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a happy
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life
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.
For example
Linking Words
, we all know about “Hitler the dictator”
how
Correct word choice
and how
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 he torture
people
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 and let them
died
Wrong verb form
die
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 in
war
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the war
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, stories like
this
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 make
students
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 understand how our great
solider
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more solid
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 fought for our freedom.
Moreover
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, I should say
science
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 and
technology
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also
Linking Words
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 made
terrific
Add an article
a terrific
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 impact on
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
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life
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, without modern gadgets and equipment
life
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 is impossible. To illustrate
further
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,
this
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 can be understood when considering
life
Use synonyms
 without
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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.
Internet
Correct article usage
The Internet
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 is
only
Add an article
the only
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 platform where
people
Use synonyms
 can get all the knowledge.
To conclude
Linking Words
, both sides present strong arguments
history
Use synonyms
 teach us moral value for our culture and
science
Use synonyms
 and
technology
Use synonyms
 make our
life
Use synonyms
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
easier.
Submitted by workforneershah on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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