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Band 7.5

Some people think young people are not suitable for important positions in the government，while other people think it is a good idea for young people to take on these positions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #positions #government，while #idea
There are controversial perspectives heating up a debate over the imperative governmental positions.
While
 some hold a strong view that those posts are out of reach for the young, the opposite makes a statement that it is ideal for the youth to take responsibility. The former is valid to some extent,
however
, I consider myself an advocate of the latter.
To begin
 with, without a shadow of a doubt, younger people usually lack abundant experience so they do not know how to make a decision when necessary.
In other words
,
due to
 the trivial lifetime, the elderly are often preferred
due to
 their variously qualified working experiences.
For instance
, in Vietnam, the average age of politicians is approximately sixty years old.
Hence
, seniors seem to be more suitable for those offices.
On the other hand
, there are advantages for the younger people who hold a significant role in the company. In
such
 a technology–dominating and
fast–paced
Add a hyphen
fast–paced
show examples
 world, the younger staff may have more promising potential
such
 as their ability to use top-notch technological devices to deal with problems.
Additionally
, the juniors are usually more aggressive than the seniors because of their willingness to try their utmost to devote themselves to the occupation.
Therefore
, if the youth are assigned to vital positions in the government, they are able to make the organization more dynamic, leading directly to social progress.
To sum up
,
although
 the juniors have a dearth of
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
, it is better to grant an opportunity for them to be a crucial post in the government.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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