Overweight Children In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should be responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In numerous nations, there has been a concerning increase in the number of overweight and unhealthy infants.
While
a number of people believe that it's the government's duty to tackle this
issue, I somewhat agree that they should play a role, on the
contrary
I Add the comma(s)
contrary,
also
think that people and communities hold significant responsibility.
On one hand, there are valid reasons to support the idea of government intervention. Authorities possess the ability to implement policies that promote healthier lifestyles in schools and public spaces. For toddlers, they can enforce regulations that ensure nutritious meals are provided in kindergartens and create campaigns to raise awareness about the importance of exercise and balanced diets. Moreover
, governments can allocate funds to build parks, playgrounds, and recreational facilities, encouraging youth to engage in physical activities.
On the other hand
, the family environment also
heavily influences a child's health. Parents or guardians play a pivotal role in shaping their children's habits. They are primarily responsible for providing nutritious meals and encouraging healthy eating habits at home. Additionally
, clans can allocate time for outdoor activities like skiing, sledging, playing football etc. Also
limit sedentary behaviors, such
as excessive screen time, thus
contributing significantly to a child's overall
well-being.
In conclusion, while
I believe that the government should take measures to address the issue of overweight teenager
through policy implementation and infrastructure development, I Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
also
stress the importance of shared responsibility among groups, communities, and society. It's a collective effort that can effectively combat this
growing concern and ensure the best healthier future for our children.Submitted by ulasasha3 on
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure there is a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the overall position. While present, your conclusion could be strengthened by providing a more direct restatement of your thesis.
supported main points
Develop your main points with specific, detailed examples. While you provided good explanations, more specific examples would enhance your essay.
logical structure
Maintain a consistent structure throughout your essay. You should work on clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure that the subsequent sentences support that topic sentence.
complete response
Make sure to fully address the prompt and include a clear opinion or extent of agreement/disagreement. Your position is somewhat present, but further clarification would be beneficial for the reader.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and expand on your ideas to ensure comprehensive understanding. The ideas are on the right track, but they could be more thoroughly explored.
relevant specific examples
Use concrete and relevant examples to back up your assertions, which will illustrate your points effectively and add weight to your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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