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Writing Samples
Band 8.5

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later. Some people think that having these people to give a talk school students is the best way to tell them about the dangers of committing a crime. Do you agree or disagree ?

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In
this
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 contemporary world, becoming a good person after serving sentences in prison is an inevitable topic. There are a few groups that postulate that persons with criminal backgrounds are the appropriate persons who can tell the
students
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 about the dangers of committing a
crime
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. I vehemently disagree with the given statement.
This
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 essay will expound on my point of view and give credible examples. First of all, criminals should never be underestimated.
This
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 is because some could still hold a grudge against the individuals responsible for his imprisonment. Once already free or given parole, he will grasp the opportunity of the situation to take revenge or to fulfil some unfinished business.
For example
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, a felon wrongly accused would want justice for what was done to him. It is evident that he will go after the people who wronged him.
Thus
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,
students
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' lives will be put at risk. Another point worth considering is that
students
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 might follow in the criminal's footsteps and worst, look up to him as a role model. No one can deny that there are some criminals who after serving their punishment will change their bad ways and commit to a life free of violence and
crime
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.
However
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, the past cannot be undone. The
students
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 could interpret that it's acceptable to commit a
crime
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 since after serving their punishment, they will be released from prison, be free and be given a second chance to change. An excellent example of
this
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 is are government officials accused of graft and corruption. After serving their sentences, they were
then
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 later released from prison and were able to run for government office. In conclusion, telling the
students
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 the dangers of committing a
crime
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 should not be handled by persons with a criminal background. The risks involved are not worth taking.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • reformed individuals
  • real-life examples
  • consequences of crime
  • instill fear
  • make better life choices
  • educational programs
  • rehabilitation process
  • relatable role models
  • backgrounds
  • redemption
  • glorifying
  • send the wrong message
  • educators
  • law enforcement
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