IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

There are some motives for people to work. some people think that money is the most important do you agree or disagree

In today's Perpetual transforming epoch.
Job
Correct article usage
A job
show examples
 is an essential thing to live without any burden
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 life.
However
Linking Words
, there are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
motives
Use synonyms
 for employees to
work
Use synonyms
.
few
Correct article usage
A few
show examples
 things that
money
Use synonyms
 is vital rather than
motives
Use synonyms
. I agree with the huge accent
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I have given some agreement and disagreement sides in
forthcoming
Correct article usage
the forthcoming
show examples
 paragraphs. To commence with that agreement side of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon, the first and foremost is
Use synonyms
Money
Correct word choice
that Money
show examples
 is the first thing to live a better
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, nowadays, without
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
money
Use synonyms
no
Punctuation problem
, no
show examples
 one wants to communicate.If anyone has
money
Use synonyms
 ,they can able to fulfil their needs without any difficulty .
Furthermore
Linking Words
 ,one person goes to
work
Use synonyms
 and does hard
work
Use synonyms
 with
motive
Correct article usage
a motive
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
if he
cannot
Verb problem
is
show examples
able
Correct word choice
unable
show examples
 to earn
money
Use synonyms
as do
Change preposition
from doing
show examples
work
Use synonyms
, he or she ignores his
motives
Use synonyms
 and may leave from particular
work
Use synonyms
 .
For instance
Linking Words
, the
Indian 's
Check wording
Indian
show examples
 individuals always keep their focus on jobs to
earning
Wrong verb form
earn
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 rather than
motives
Use synonyms
 .So,
money
Use synonyms
 is the most important
in
Check wording
thing in
show examples
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
 rather than other things. Now taking into account of disagreement side of
this
Linking Words
 trend ,
firstly
Linking Words
, after earning some
money
Use synonyms
most
Punctuation problem
, most
show examples
 individuals only concentrate
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their
motives
Use synonyms
 .
In other words
Linking Words
 ,after earning
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
 of
money
Use synonyms
, the lure of earning
money
Use synonyms
 decreases .So, they
most
Use the right word
must
show examples
 follow their
motives
Use synonyms
 and aid for the nation.
For example
Linking Words
, Ratan Tata
who
Punctuation problem
, who
show examples
 is the owner of
Tata
Correct article usage
the Tata
show examples
 Company and after earning a lot of
money
Use synonyms
 ,he was not only aided in charity but
also
Linking Words
give
Wrong verb form
gave
show examples
 his vehicles free
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 Corona
patience
Fix the agreement mistake
patients
show examples
 as an ambulance.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, not only is
money
Use synonyms
 important for
work
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
Linking Words
also satisfaction is
Correct word order
satisfaction is also
show examples
 one thing .If any person does not
gets
Correct subject-verb agreement
get
show examples
 satisfaction and
reputation
Correct article usage
a reputation
show examples
 in their company or is not happy with
Use synonyms
work
Correct pronoun usage
their work
show examples
 .They will leave their job
due to
Linking Words
 a lack of interest.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
motives
Use synonyms
 are greater than
money
Use synonyms
 in well-being. In conclusion,
money
Use synonyms
 is essential for living smoothly
flow well being
Verb problem
and well-being
show examples
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 after earning some
money
Use synonyms
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 greediness of a person keeps decreasing they mainly focus
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their motive.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Be clear about your view from the start. State 'I agree' or 'I disagree' in the introduction and keep this view in the main paragraphs.
Content
Give one main idea per paragraph and back it with a short, simple example.
Coherence
Use simple linking words like First, Next, Also, But, Therefore to show how ideas fit together.
Grammar
Check your grammar. Use short, clear sentences. Correct subject-verb errors and keep verb forms simple.
Content
Choose examples that really fit the point you make and avoid vague or wrong facts.
Content
The essay shows an attempt to state a view on the topic.
Examples
Some examples are used to back ideas (like Tata).
Structure
There is a structure with introduction, body, and conclusion.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: