IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. disscus both views and give your opinion.

#people #success #life #work #determination #factors #money #appearance #disscus
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it is believed by some
idividuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 that
success
Use synonyms
 in life is achieved by hard
work
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 and determination,
where as
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whereas
show examples
 others are in the idea that other factors
such
Linking Words
 as wealth and beauty are more important. I personally side with the former group, since when you want to obtain a goal by heart and you
work
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 hard
twards
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toward
 your dreams, nothing can stop you and you will be successful, with no doubt.  Working hard and being
detrmind
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determined
are
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is
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 the
corner stone
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cornerstone
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 of
succes
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success
, because by means of
purposful
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purposeful
 hard
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work
Add a comma
,work
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 all the obstacles on the way to
success
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 could be, generally, tackled.
for
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
,instance
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 new immigrants who really
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
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 to find their desired position in
the
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their
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 new home country will
work
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 hard 24/7 to empower themselves in required fields and fit
as
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in as
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 soon as possible in their new community.
this
Linking Words
 is a potential that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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hard-working
people
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 have by heart and no matter what the goal is, they will eventually find a way to be successful.
however
Linking Words
 other
people
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 believe that wealth and appearance play an important role in
success
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. good appearance makes
people
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 attractive
therefore
Linking Words
 they are able to find better job opportunities or they can pay for what they are dreaming
and
Correct word choice
which
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 gives them
feeling
Correct article usage
a feeling
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 of
success
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.
although
Linking Words
 these factors
such
Linking Words
 as wealth and good looking are not stable and can be lost and
conseuently
Correct your spelling
consequently
 whatever that
have
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has
show examples
 been achieved by them. all in
all
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,all
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 I believe that
success
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 is achieved by
hard working
Add a hyphen
hard-working
show examples
 and
detrmination
Correct your spelling
determination
 because
hard working
Add a hyphen
hard-working
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 have potentially the capacity to solve problems and gain
success
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by abbasi.banafsheh on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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