IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars or riding motorbikes To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In recent years, the growing number of vehicles on the
road
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 has raised serious concerns about safety. Many people argue that increasing the minimum legal
age
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 required to drive or ride
motorbikes
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 is the most practical approach. Personally, I partly agree with
this
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 statement because some other major factors
also
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 play a crucial role in
road
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 safety. On the one hand, setting a higher minimum legal
age
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 for driving cars or
motorbikes
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 is considered an effective solution since young drivers are more likely to be involved in
road
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accidents
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due to
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 their lack of experience and sometimes reckless behaviour. Raising the legal
age
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 will reduce the number of
such
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accidents
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, as older individuals tend to act more responsibly. Research,
for example
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, shows that car and motorbike
accidents
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 are the main cause of death in people aged 15-29.
It is clear that
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, if these adolescents are prevented from driving cars or
motorbikes
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, the risk of
accidents
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 will decrease.
On the other hand
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, factors
such
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 as drunk driving, crime, and insufficient awareness of transport users lead to unsafe
roads
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. If the government only changes the minimum legal
age
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 for cars and
motorbikes
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 to a higher
age
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,
roads
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 will still be unsafe because of the reasons above.
For example
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, in 2022, over 30% of
road
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accidents
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 in the UK were caused by drunk driving,
according to
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 government data.
Therefore
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, the increase in the minimum legal
age
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 for driving a car or motorbike is one of the most effective ways not the best way to keep
roads
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 safe. In conclusion, increasing the minimum legal
age
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 for driving a car or motorbike is an effective solution since many young drivers are inexperienced and behave recklessly.
However
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, it is not the best way to keep
roads
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 safe since other factors play a crucial role in
road
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 safety.

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Task Achievement
Consider elaborating on the points made in the essays, especially regarding the importance of other factors influencing road safety. This can enhance the depth of your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Although your logical structure is generally clear, try to ensure that your paragraphs transition smoothly from one to the next to make your argument flow more naturally.
Task Achievement
Your introduction clearly presents your stance on the issue, indicating that you partly agree with the statement, which is a good way to approach the task.
Task Achievement
You provided relevant statistics and examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument and makes it more persuasive.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • minimum legal age
  • increase road safety
  • maturity
  • rash decision-making
  • cognitive functions
  • risky behavior
  • traffic congestion
  • urban areas
  • core issues
  • proper training
  • adherence to traffic rules
  • road conditions
  • vehicle maintenance
  • stricter driving tests
  • enhancing road safety
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