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Band 7

A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #oil #world #resources #sources #power #wind
It is well known that the number of
oil
 used by the public is rising dramatically;
therefore
, much funds are spent to search for fossil fuels.
However
, some people believe that a part of
this
 expenditure should be spent on developing renewable sources and I strongly agree with it.
Firstly
,
oil
 like many other sources of
energy
 like coal is not endless.
Moreover
, scientists state that future generations will not have any of them if we increase their usage.
Hence
, in my opinion, people should make more solar panels and wind turbines to produce
energy
.
However
, they have a lot of issues,
such
 as low outputs. They can be tackled by reductions in expenditures for searching for
oil
.
For example
, nuclear stations produce an enormous amount of
energy
although
 they are expensive to build.
Moreover
,
such
 a station may be unsafe if workers do not follow the rules.
Secondly
, finding and
then
 using
oil
 in factories has a detrimental impact on the environment.
For instance
, a large amount of Carbon dioxide which is a result of using
oil
 contributes to global warming.
In contrast
, renewable
energy
 does not have similar problems. Admittedly, presently governments have many other issues to fix like conflicts around the globe.
Therefore
, officials tend to choose the easiest way to get a big amount of power without predicting the future.
To conclude
, now the number of searching for
oil
 must be reduced, in order to decrease pollution and to save some for the next generations. The public nowadays has good alternatives that simply lack development.
Submitted by leshchynser on

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task achievement
Make sure to develop each paragraph with a clear idea throughout. Clarifying and expanding on why renewable energy is a viable alternative could enhance the comprehensiveness of the ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that transitions between paragraphs and ideas are smooth and logical. For instance, linking the point about environmental impact more tightly with why renewable energy would be preferable can create a coherent thread through the essay.
task achievement
The introduction provides a clear statement of your stance, which forms a solid basis for your argument.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main arguments and supports your position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • finite
  • renewable energy sources
  • expenditure
  • compromise
  • sustainable
  • environmental impact
  • infrastructure
  • economic sustainability
  • dependency
  • fluctuating prices
  • stimulate
  • job creation
  • vested interests
  • transition
  • reluctance
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