The Internet has many disadvantages as it does advantages. To what extend do you agree with this statement.
The
Internet
has become a vital role in people
’s lives since it has changed many aspects of people
’s lives. While
some people
believe that it has more disadvantages than advantages, some others, including me, claim that its advantages outweigh the disadvantages as it can make communication easier and is an unlimited source of information
.
The internet
, on the one hand, is instrumental in communication as many people
can keep in touch with their family and friends
easier
through many social networking websites and applications everywhere. Rephrase
more easily
In addition
, people
can access a significant source of information
without any limitations, which can improve people
’s knowledge free
. Correct word choice
apply
For example
, in the past, people
had to buy many paper books and magazines to obtain the information
, which not only did take
a long time to access but was usually more expensive.
Wrong verb form
took
On the other hand
, the Internet
can cause many health problems such
as overweight and obesity because people
have a sedentary lifestyle as they do everything on the Internet
like shopping and socializing. Moreover
, it can cause isolation among some people
, especially old people
, who may think that they are not important to their children because as a human, they need to be with their relatives and friends
in the real world. Nonetheless
, people
can try to fit some regular exercise into their daily routine to prevent obesity. Also
, people
can see their friends
and family at special events instead
of being with them through social media.
In Conclusion, I believe that the Internet
makes life easier for people
in many aspects like communication and access to information
. Although
some people
believe that it causes obesity or isolation, it can be prevented by doing some sports or keeping in touch with family and friends
on some occasions.Submitted by ha.mahsa73 on
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task response
Overall, the essay provides a good response to the task. The main points have been addressed, and there is a clear position stated. The ideas are well-developed and supported with relevant examples.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally coherent, with clear progression from one idea to the next. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more substantial and demonstrate a stronger link to the body paragraphs.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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