shopping has become a favorite pastime among young people. Do you think they must be encouraged to do other things rather than shopping.

#pastime #people

Nowadays, shopping is the most popular activity among youngsters. They spend more time in malls than in any other place. In my view, they should opt for other things rather than shopping.

Firstly

, Sport is the best alternative. When people play sports, they increase physical stamina and endurance.

Furthermore

, they learn skills like "teamwork" and "communication" which will be helpful to them in their future careers.

For instance

, they are not going to acquire any useful knowledge by wasting time shopping.

Secondly

, Travelling is another good option. By travelling to different places in the world, they get to know different cultures and people.

Moreover

, they can have fun by eating different foods and trying some local clothes.

For example

, These experiences build a vibrant personality among young folks. Their whole life, they are going to cherish these memories.

To sum up

, Shopping is a fun activity in itself but life is beyond that. Trying out new things and figuring out new concepts give a good shape to these young people's mindsets. So, I would highly recommend these folks pursue new hobbies and have fun in different ways.

Submitted by parmar415 on Sun Feb 05 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

187 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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shopping has become a favorite pastime among young people. Do you think they must be encouraged to do other things rather than shopping.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

You have arranged to visit a friend in England but an important event at home now means that you must change the dates of the visit. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • explain the important event • apologise for the situation • suggest a new arrangement

Advertising is becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Crime rates are likely to decline due to the advancements in technology, which will help prevent and solve crimes in an easier way.