IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

death penality is best way to control and reduce serious crime to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#death #penality #control #crime
The high rate of
crimes
 in
society
 is a major concern in many countries. Some people feel that severe punishment is the best way to control and diminish serious crime but at the same time, others argue that other measurements should be considered. I believe that the death penalty against corruption is not preventive, because it may aggravate their anger and learn them how to do another scandal. At the outset, the governments provide significant life-and-death fines for serious
crimes
. Executions and jail are the most important of these.
For example
, a murder conviction has been life imprisonment in the UK for many years. The murderer might learn many new
crimes
 in jail and join another gang group,
subsequently
, they may perform vandalism again.
Therefore
, the rate of
crimes
 increases and
society
 may afflict new
crimes
.
Secondly
, individuals , who paid the penalties for
crimes
 are usually rejected by
society
 and become underprivileged,
as a result
, they can not find proper careers or positions for themselves. Most of them are breadwinners and in order to make a livelihood could not cover their responsibilities. Many of them are indigenous and can handle complicated tasks but
due to
 lack of support, they would do
crimes
 again.
Subsequently
, crime rates may go up. In conclusion,
although
 the death penalty is the best way to control and reduce serious crime, it may not be preventive. Learning the new ways of vandalism and rejection of
society
 may increase the rate of
crimes
 and prepare them for new
crimes
.
Submitted by dr.mansoori41 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: