IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Advertising encourages customers to buy in quantity not in quality. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#customers #quantity #quality
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There is a popular belief that customers are encouraged to prioritize quantity over quality because of advertisements. From my perspective, I partly align with
this
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 point of view
due to
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 the following reasons. On one hand, a range of advertisements lure shoppers to buy a large proportion, rather than the standard in order to acquire profit.
This
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 stems from the focus of advertising, which is to get much attention and interest from people,
therefore
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 meeting the ultimate goal- having successful trade. In other means, products that are in high sales may gain much money from the buyers, benefiting both employees and managers to thrive.
Moreover
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, even in the case of good motives, a business may incentivize people to buy more than enough, for the reason that it will be wasteful if their goods are on the shelf.
On the other hand
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, despite having the intention of being lucrative, the advice to buy in a mindful way in advertisements is still widespread.
For example
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, several owners who own sustainable and worthwhile products, believe that standard should be the primary focus, may instil the same idea into advertising.
Similarly
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, prominently luxury branches,
such
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 as Christian Dior and Hermes always place goodness as the highest target.
Furthermore
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, advertising itself must follow the rules of business ethics, including ensuring consumer rights.
Therefore
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, to make people get the most privileged,
together with
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 meeting their demands, what a company popularize should be in accordance with the rules. All things considered, whether the thrust to purchase merchandise depended on the number, or criteria is still motivated by advertisement.
Submitted by caivankihh779 on

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task achievement
Try to strengthen your arguments by providing more detailed and relevant examples. Specific examples can help to support your points and make your argument more convincing.
task achievement
Make sure your ideas are clearly stated and elaborated upon. Some points in your essay could benefit from more detailed explanations to enhance comprehension.
coherence and cohesion
Consider refining the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. This can help in creating a more seamless and comprehensive argument throughout the essay.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view by acknowledging both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a mature understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly states your overall position and sets up the discussion for the rest of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the central theme of the essay, leaving a strong final impression.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Advertising psychology
  • Consumer behavior
  • Marketing techniques
  • Psychological triggers
  • Consumerism
  • Longevity
  • Overall satisfaction
  • Environmental implications
  • Social media influence
  • Influencer marketing
  • Impulsive buying
  • Sustainability
  • Quality versus quantity
  • Purchasing behavior
  • Resist impulsive purchases
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