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Nowadays, people are spending more time away from their homes because they spend longer in their workplace. Discuss the advantage and disadvantages.

#people #time #homes #workplace #advantage
there might be contentious debates regarding the issue of whether it is advantageous for
people
 to spend a long
time
 in their
workplace
. the opponent could disagree with my stand.
However
, I strongly believe that spending longer in the
workplace
 than at home has more advantages than disadvantages. In
this
 regard, I will write
this
 essay to elucidate my
opinion
. On the one hand, spending a lot of
time
 in the
workplace
 could have several disadvantages. there are two grounds to underpin
this
opinion
. First of all, if
people
work
 for a long
time
, they cannot have enough
time
 with their family, so they cannot enhance
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
bond
Fix the agreement mistake
bonds
show examples
.
Moreover
,
person
Add an article
the person
a person
show examples
 who works too much could be unhealthy,
accordingly
, they could have several diseases.
Thus
,
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
time
 that
people
work
 in the
workplace
 has to be reduced. As far as the other
opinion
 is concerned, spending more
time
 in the workspace has a variety of advantages,
this
opinion
 should be emphasized more, and there are more compelling rationales. The primary reason is that hard
worker
Replace the word
work
show examples
 can
suceed
Correct your spelling
succeed
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
 fields, namely, a person who works
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
time
 can have many opportunities that their supervisor gives in the
workplace
.
Furthermore
, they can earn substantial money as much as they
work
, which leads to investment in their own or their family, and it is the reason that
people
work
 their best. Pondering
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
aforementiond
Correct your spelling
aforementioned
 statement, it is more reasonable to take the latter view as the established
opinion
.
Therefore
, the advantages of spending more
time
 in the
workplace
 should not be overlooked. In conclusion.
Although
 spending
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
time
 in the
workplace
 could not be easy, I am of
opinion
 that it has considerable implications for their life.
Submitted by ryuhsty on

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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