Nowadays, people are spending more time away from their homes because they spend longer in their workplace. Discuss the advantage and disadvantages.

#people #time #homes #workplace #advantage

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there might be contentious debates regarding the issue of whether it is advantageous for

people

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to spend a long

time

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in their

workplace

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. the opponent could disagree with my stand.

However

Linking Words

, I strongly believe that spending longer in the

workplace

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than at home has more advantages than disadvantages. In

this

Linking Words

regard, I will write

this

Linking Words

essay to elucidate my

opinion

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. On the one hand, spending a lot of

time

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in the

workplace

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could have several disadvantages. there are two grounds to underpin

this

Linking Words

opinion

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. First of all, if

people

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work

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for a long

time

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, they cannot have enough

time

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with their family, so they cannot enhance

family

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the family

show examples

bond

Fix the agreement mistake

bonds

show examples

Moreover

Linking Words

person

Add an article

the person

a person

show examples

who works too much could be unhealthy,

accordingly

Linking Words

, they could have several diseases.

Thus

Linking Words

Correct article usage

the

show examples

time

Use synonyms

that

people

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work

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in the

workplace

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has to be reduced. As far as the other

opinion

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is concerned, spending more

time

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in the workspace has a variety of advantages,

this

Linking Words

opinion

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should be emphasized more, and there are more compelling rationales. The primary reason is that hard

worker

Replace the word

work

show examples

can

suceed

Correct your spelling

succeed

their

Change preposition

in their

show examples

fields, namely, a person who works

long

Change the article

a long

show examples

time

Use synonyms

can have many opportunities that their supervisor gives in the

workplace

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Furthermore

Linking Words

, they can earn substantial money as much as they

work

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, which leads to investment in their own or their family, and it is the reason that

people

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work

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their best. Pondering

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apply

show examples

the

aforementiond

Correct your spelling

aforementioned

statement, it is more reasonable to take the latter view as the established

opinion

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Therefore

Linking Words

, the advantages of spending more

time

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in the

workplace

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should not be overlooked. In conclusion.

Although

Linking Words

spending

long

Change the article

a long

show examples

time

Use synonyms

in the

workplace

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could not be easy, I am of

opinion

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that it has considerable implications for their life.

Submitted by ryuhsty on Sun Feb 05 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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Nowadays, people are spending more time away from their homes because they spend longer in their workplace. Discuss the advantage and disadvantages.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Governments in many countries are replacing old buildings such as art galleries and town halls with new ones. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many people say that we have developed into a “throw-away” culture, because we are filling up our environment with so many plastic bags and rubbish that we cannot fully dispose of. To what extent do you agree with this opinion and what measures can you recommend reducing this problem ?