IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugars #health #people #sugar
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It is often argued that
products
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 containing a lot of sugar have detrimental effects on the human body and cause diseases. Some
people
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 believe that the high price of these
products
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 prevents
people
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 from buying them. I completely disagree with
this
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 opinion and think other regulations should be implemented. First of all, I believe that society should understand the real threat of consuming manufactured food and drinks.
In other words
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, the public should realize how these
products
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 affect their body badly;
otherwise
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, nothing prevents them from eating and drinking these harmful
products
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, even at high prices.
For example
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, even poor
people
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 spend a lot of money on unhealthy
products
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 because they don'
t
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 become aware of these
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products
Change noun form
products'
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 drawbacks. Governments should run some campaigns to inform the public of the negative effects of sugary
products
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 and refer
people
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 who suffer from obesity and high blood pressure because of the consumption of these
products
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.
Secondly
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,
this
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 approach doesn'
t
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 consider the wealthy
people
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 who have a significant role in consuming junk food because rich
people
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 spend a considerable amount of money on advertising processed food and drinks, and sometimes they are sponsors of famous brands of drinks and cuisine;
therefore
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 a great number of populations tend to consume unhealthy
products
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.
For instance
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, when a normal person sees an advertisement about drinking soda by his favourite role model, he definitely buys that soda apart
from
Change preposition
of
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 the price.
To conclude
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, I strongly believe that the higher price of sugary
products
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 can'
t
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 prevent the public from using them because they don'
t
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 know the disadvantages of these
products
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, and affluent
people
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 can buy and advertise them.
Submitted by Babak.ghassemi.9 on

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