Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In everyday life,

such

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as in

school

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or at work, it is considered normal and acceptable.

While

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some individuals may oppose it for certain reasons, I strongly agree that having a sense of rivalry has a positive impact on people's development. On the one hand, people who are against

competition

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in the office and in

school

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argue that

such

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an environment is more warm and comfortable, encouraging them to be more open and relaxed with each other.

As a result

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, working or studying without

competition

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enables these individuals to feel less stress and anxiety.

For instance

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, a case study from the University of Indonesia found that workers in family-oriented companies, which produced less rivalry, reported that the workers in those companies had positive mental health with high motivation to go to the office every day

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apply

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and that

this

Linking Words

benefited the company.

In contrast

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, I am confident that the presence of

competition

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in the workplace or

school

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will bring many positive impacts for employees and students. With the presence of a feeling of wanting to be

the

Change preposition

at the

show examples

top in our daily lives and of defeating our rivals, people are forced to improve their knowledge and abilities.

Furthermore

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, individuals will receive numerous chances to upgrade their positions in their career lives and achieve higher incomes compared to their coworkers.

For example

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according to

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data from the Ministry of Economy of Japan, the majority of the top five companies in Japan admitted that they had strict rules and standards for every employee to follow and suggested that employees develop self-confidence and reduce dependence on others. In conclusion, even though the avoidance of workplace and

school

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may foster more harmonious and supportive organizations, I personally do not support the idea. I believe

competition

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will encourage students and workers to improve their competence to achieve better options and conditions in the future.

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Task Response

Your introduction states your opinion clearly. However, you might consider rephrasing slightly to make the thesis statement more direct.

Coherence and Cohesion

In your conclusion, reinforce your main points more clearly to strengthen the final message. You could briefly restate the key benefits of competition to emphasize your viewpoint.

Coherence and Cohesion

While your arguments are clear, providing more varied examples could enhance credibility and demonstrate deeper understanding. Additionally, linking phrases could improve the flow between your points.

Task Response

You have effectively discussed both views and provided a clear opinion, showcasing an understanding of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

The logical structure of your essay is commendable, helping the reader easily follow your argumentation.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

innovation
productivity
excel
outperform
advancements
academic standards
work ethic
stress
anxiety
unhealthy rivalries
harmonious
supportive
collaborative learning
social skills
communication skills
sense of community
collective goals

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Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

International tourism has become a huge industry in the world. Are the problems than international travellers cause greater than the advantages they bring？ Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge of experience.

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The best way to solve traffic and transportation problems is to encourage people to live in cities rather than suburbs or countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree?