some people think that in tbhis modern world we are more dependent on each other while others think that people become more independent. discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, with the advancement of technology majority of people rely on each other
due to
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the chain systems.
some
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Some
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percentage of the public
think
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thinks
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we are dependent
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whereas
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, whereas
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others believe we are independent. I will discuss both views
along with
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my opinion in
upcoming
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the upcoming
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paragraphs. Considering the first viewpoint, most nations follow a step system divided into different stages for better
organization
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organisation
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.
For example
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, even the basic products one gets at home come through different stages
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such
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, such
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as initial production, quality check, packaging, and shipping and
then
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finally
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coming to the public through distributors or grocery stores.
This
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process generates a number of employment opportunities
,
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;
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meanwhile
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meanwhile,
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if one of the stages
got
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is
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disturbed whole system will be affected
including
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, including
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employment opportunities as well. Taking the other viewpoint, individuals enjoy the freedom of
thought
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thought,
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such
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as they have the right to speak and be financially independent as well. In
this
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era, most people are well-educated, have trade skills and have a clear vision for their future goals.
For example
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,
according to
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a recent survey in India, up to 50% of the tax came from small businesses operating on a small scale by engineers, doctors, and chefs with the help of new inventions.
Moreover
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, women used to be financially reliant on their partners or families
,
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;
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meanwhile, now collected data suggest the percentage of working women increased by 70 per cent in recent years.
In
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From
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my perspective, every age group has freedom in every sector of life. In past years, individuals used to have family or societal pressure that
were restricting
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restricted
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their actions or thoughts
while
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making decisions.
However
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, now people are broad-minded,
started
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have started
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adapting new ideas, and cultures at the societal level.
To conclude
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,
this
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essay has discussed both bosoms that the world is dependent on each other to work effectively,
while
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everyone has freedom in heart and ambitions

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task response
Begin with a clear view and a short plan in the intro. Use four clear parts: intro, view one, view two, conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words and keep ideas in a steady order. Use easy transitions like first, also, but, so, in addition, finally.
grammar and vocabulary
Check grammar and spell small words. Use short, clear sentences.
content development
Add small, real examples for each view and explain why they prove your point.
idea
The writer tries to show both sides of the issue.
content
Some use of numbers and facts as examples.
structure
The writer adds a personal view at the end.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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