Organized tour to remote areas and community is increasingly popular. Is it a positive or negative development for the local people and the environment?

#tour #areas #community #development #people #environment

Where

Correct word choice

Whether

show examples

planned trips to remote areas and communities can be positive or negative is a controversial issue. From my point of view, these tours can improve both the financial and social state of rural residents

whereas

city dwellers may have a chance to spend some quality time in a fresh and clean environment, which in turn can lead to higher levers of appreciation and respect for nature.

To begin

this

, city residents can magnify their knowledge of

how

Rephrase

apply

show examples

the

Correct pronoun usage

what

show examples

life is like in rural areas and even obtain some initial but useful skills

such

as taking care of animals properly or gaining precious information about the local history.

In addition

this

, local people are able to earn money by selling several spinners

such

as handicrafts or postcards to visitors which will definitely improve their socio-economic status.

However

, despite the benefits,

this

situation has negative sides too. Visitors frequently trash wherever they go and may harm animals with their inadequate behaviour .

Furthermore

, in order to meet the demand of tourists, local people have to cut down a

big

Correct word choice

large

show examples

majority of old trees to build areas for entertainment.

For instance

, Brazil is

also

known as a country with the most deforestation and the reason for

this

is poorly-planted infrastructure in remote places.

To sum up

, there is an enormous number of people that find

organizer towards

Wrong verb form

organising

show examples

more suitable and practical for visiting remote places.

According to

me, it brings a lot of opportunities for the remote population, despite the negative

influence

Fix the agreement mistake

influences

show examples

such

as environmental damage and contamination of the land.

Submitted by uluga2002 on Tue Feb 07 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion need to be more developed and clearly linked to the rest of the essay. Ensure that your points are logically structured and that you provide specific examples to support your arguments.

task achievement

Your essay does not fully address the task. You need to discern between positive and negative aspects of organized tours to remote areas and communities for the local people and the environment. Provide a balanced discussion and clearly present your position.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Organized tour to remote areas and community is increasingly popular. Is it a positive or negative development for the local people and the environment?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that educational success depends on good teacher; others think that it depends on the attitude of the students. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Some people argue that historic buildings should be preserved in their original form. Others argue that this is both inadvisable and impossible. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

A young person will start work at your office next month to gain work experience. Write a letter to him/her. In your letter inform him/her about the work that needs to be done at the office; explain what he/she is supposed to do on the first day; suggest what he/she should bring to work.

eople are living in a “throwaway society”, using things for a short time and then throwing them away. What are the causes of this? What problems does it lead to?