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Organized tour to remote areas and community is increasingly popular. Is it a positive or negative development for the local people and the environment?

#tour #areas #community #development #people #environment
Where
Correct word choice
Whether
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 planned trips to remote areas and communities can be positive or negative is a controversial issue. From my point of view, these tours can improve both the financial and social state of rural residents
whereas
 city dwellers may have a chance to spend some quality time in a fresh and clean environment, which in turn can lead to higher levers of appreciation and respect for nature.
To begin
this
, city residents can magnify their knowledge of
how
Rephrase
apply
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the
Correct pronoun usage
what
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 life is like in rural areas and even obtain some initial but useful skills
such
 as taking care of animals properly or gaining precious information about the local history.
In addition
 to
this
, local people are able to earn money by selling several spinners
such
 as handicrafts or postcards to visitors which will definitely improve their socio-economic status.
However
, despite the benefits,
this
 situation has negative sides too. Visitors frequently trash wherever they go and may harm animals with their inadequate behaviour .
Furthermore
, in order to meet the demand of tourists, local people have to cut down a
big
Correct word choice
large
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 majority of old trees to build areas for entertainment.
For instance
, Brazil is
also
 known as a country with the most deforestation and the reason for
this
 is poorly-planted infrastructure in remote places.
To sum up
, there is an enormous number of people that find
organizer towards
Wrong verb form
organising
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 more suitable and practical for visiting remote places.
According to
 me, it brings a lot of opportunities for the remote population, despite the negative
influence
Fix the agreement mistake
influences
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such
 as environmental damage and contamination of the land.
Submitted by uluga2002 on

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coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion need to be more developed and clearly linked to the rest of the essay. Ensure that your points are logically structured and that you provide specific examples to support your arguments.
task achievement
Your essay does not fully address the task. You need to discern between positive and negative aspects of organized tours to remote areas and communities for the local people and the environment. Provide a balanced discussion and clearly present your position.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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