Organized tour to remote areas and community is increasingly popular. Is it a positive or negative development for the local people and the environment?

#tour #areas #community #development #people #environment

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Where

Correct word choice

Whether

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planned trips to remote areas and communities can be positive or negative is a controversial issue. From my point of view, these tours can improve both the financial and social state of rural residents

whereas

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city dwellers may have a chance to spend some quality time in a fresh and clean environment, which in turn can lead to higher levers of appreciation and respect for nature.

To begin

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this

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, city residents can magnify their knowledge of

how

Rephrase

apply

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the

Correct pronoun usage

what

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life is like in rural areas and even obtain some initial but useful skills

such

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as taking care of animals properly or gaining precious information about the local history.

In addition

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this

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, local people are able to earn money by selling several spinners

such

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as handicrafts or postcards to visitors which will definitely improve their socio-economic status.

However

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, despite the benefits,

this

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situation has negative sides too. Visitors frequently trash wherever they go and may harm animals with their inadequate behaviour .

Furthermore

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, in order to meet the demand of tourists, local people have to cut down a

big

Correct word choice

large

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majority of old trees to build areas for entertainment.

For instance

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, Brazil is

also

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known as a country with the most deforestation and the reason for

this

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is poorly-planted infrastructure in remote places.

To sum up

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, there is an enormous number of people that find

organizer towards

Wrong verb form

organising

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more suitable and practical for visiting remote places.

According to

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me, it brings a lot of opportunities for the remote population, despite the negative

influence

Fix the agreement mistake

influences

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such

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as environmental damage and contamination of the land.

Submitted by uluga2002 on Tue Feb 07 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion need to be more developed and clearly linked to the rest of the essay. Ensure that your points are logically structured and that you provide specific examples to support your arguments.

task achievement

Your essay does not fully address the task. You need to discern between positive and negative aspects of organized tours to remote areas and communities for the local people and the environment. Provide a balanced discussion and clearly present your position.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Organized tour to remote areas and community is increasingly popular. Is it a positive or negative development for the local people and the environment?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs ( for example, working for a charity, improving the neighborhood, or teaching sports to younger children) to what extent do you agree or disagree?

some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

People are starting to think that the idea of having a single career is an old fashioned one and that having several part-time jobs is better. Do the benefits outweigh the disadvantage?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuess both these views and give your own opinion.