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Writing Samples
Band 6

Scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work. Discuss both ideas and give your opinion.

#scientists #people #health #junk #food #education #work
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With an ever-increasing concern about the damaged health by consuming too much
junk
food
, a proportion of the population has opined that
education
 will play a crucial role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
 issue. The rest of the population,
however
, has raised a counterargument that implementing
education
 will not actually work.
This
 essay will evaluate both arguments and give a concluding viewpoint. On the one hand, advocates of the power of
education
 argue that it is helpful in dealing with the harmful effects of overconsumption of
junk
food
. Given that many young children tend to consume
junk
food
due to
 the lack of information
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 how negatively
junk
food
 will affect their health, providing
education
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
 topic will
therefore
 help them to comprehend the result of overconsumption of
junk
food
 and actually eat less of it.
Secondly
, implementing
education
 for adults will provide a wide range of knowledge which contains not only the relation between damaging health and eating too much
junk
food
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 alternative
food
 which has healthy ingredients and can be served at an affordable cost.
On the other hand
, opponents of
this
 idea contend that
education
 will not be actually effective for the general public in discouraging their consumption of
junk
food
. The primary reason is that most meals for students are likely to be served outside educational institutions and
therefore
 they will be less controlled to have a healthy and balanced diet, which will eventually lead to failure in stopping them from overconsuming instant
food
. Considering the instant benefits of having fast
food
,
education
 will not be helpful in encouraging adults to change their overconsumption of fast
food
 to having a balanced and healthy diet, which is less affordable and more time-consuming. In conclusion, it seems that
education
 can be effective in encouraging the public to eat less
junk
food
.
Nevertheless
, I believe that other measures should be implemented for long-term change.
Submitted by withjungwon on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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