IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Online shopping is now replacing shopping in store. Do you think it is a positive or negative development

#store #development
In the modern era, purchasing in a shop was replaced by shopping on the internet. More people would like online shopping in the decade. In my point of view, there are both advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand, e-shopping is more convenient
,
Change preposition
for, who
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 are not able to go out for purchase in-store.
For example
, some people work on shift or work from home,
who
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 can not go to the market for buying what they need. They can just buy it
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the internet.
Furthermore
, e-shopping usually could deliver the goods door to door.
That is
 helpful for individuals who are not able to carry too much. The other benefit of shopping is easier to purchase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
oversea products.
For instance
, it is difficult to buy
a Japanese comic books
Correct the article-noun agreement
Japanese comic books
a Japanese comic book
show examples
 in the England bookstore. But it is easy to shop online.
On the other hand
, online shopping is not without drawbacks. Purchase on the internet with shipping, which produces more waste of the packing. For safety, the delivery company use many layers for packing,
such
 as bubble papers and boxes, to keep the goods of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good quality. Those packing can not be used again. It becomes pollution with an increasing number of waste. And other demerits, it is common to buy something
that is
 not
expectation
Replace the word
expected
show examples
Such
 as buying new shoes on a website, without fitting. All the information about the shoes like the look, colour and size shown
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a picture.
As a result
, It might not what the buyer wants.
To conclude
, there are merits and demerits of online shopping, which is helpful and convenient for those people
are
Correct pronoun usage
who are
show examples
 not able to go out for purchases.
However
, It would be a waste of packing and cannot be fit before buying it. In my opinion, Online shopping cannot totally replace shopping in-store.
Submitted by va430 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: