Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? “When people succeed, it is entirely because of hard work. Luck has nothing to do with their success.” Use specific reasons and examples to explain your position.
In the modern world, there are conflicting views on whether perseverance, rather than lucky breaks, plays an important part in prosperity.
However
, this
essay disagrees with this
position, as good opportunity and privilege may become important variables in determining this
issue.
To begin
with, serendipitous opportunities could contribute to success. This
is because focusing on advantageous possibilities in terms of time, location, or people may increase the likelihood of achievement. For example
, during the tech boom, there was an increase in the number of tech startups with billions of dollars in valuation due to
significant investments from venture capitalists who saw a promising future in technology. Knowing these opportunities, Nadiem, the founder of Gojek, built his company
by pioneering a ride-sharing application in Indonesia that was comparable to Uber. With the advancement of technology, his company
boosted its user transactions, which attracted the eye of numerous venture capitalists who saw an optimistic future in this
. As a result
, they received funding and gained a valuation of ten billion dollars, similar to what Uber achieved. This
is unlikely to have happened if he founded his company
a century ago, when there were no internet breakthroughs or massive investments, as there are today.
Secondly
, privilege has a substantial impact on viable endeavors
. Change the spelling
endeavours
This
is due to
the fact that someone with more resources and a larger network may find it easier to acquire personal profit than someone who relies solely on individual effort. For instance
, Bill Gates, the creator of Microsoft, is well-known for his entrepreneurial activity in developing a trillion-dollar firm despite dropping out of Harvard. However
, many people are unaware that he was facilitated with multiple books and a really expensive computer by his father as a child. Moreover
, owing to the fact that his father was a prominent lawyer with extensive networks in business and politics, it is apparent that he has more assets and connections to establish a profitable company
than other people.
In conclusion, while
some argue that performance contributes to prosperity, it is inevitable that advantageous opportunity and privilege become the primary means of deciding triumph. The principle of the right time at the right place might help them attain their goals simply.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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Coherence Cohesion
To improve cohesion and coherence, strive to create smoother transitions between paragraphs. Transition phrases such as 'Moreover,' 'Subsequently,' or 'Furthermore,' can help guide the reader through the argument more seamlessly.
Task Achievement
For better task response, ensure that the introduction directly addresses the prompt and outlines the contents of the essay more clearly. It is also beneficial to reiterate your position explicitly in the conclusion to reinforce your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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