Some people think foreign visitors should be charged more than local person when they visit the cultural and historical attractions in a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #visitors #person #visit #attractions #country

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Some

people

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think that foreign

visitors

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should

charge

Wrong verb form

be charged

show examples

more than local

people

Use synonyms

when they visit the cultural and historical places in our

country

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Although

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there are valid arguments to the contrary, in

this

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paper I will argue that it has actually made the

country

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a much better place. I definitely agree with

this

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statement. In the following essay, I briefly introduce some reliable reasons for

this

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situation. On the one hand, it cannot be denied that today more and more tourists tend to visit our

country

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. Because they want to learn our history and enjoy watching historical and modern buildings.

In addition

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visitors

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come to our

country

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even in winter.

Then

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they stay in the national hotels.

For

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this

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reason, the government should take more money from them rather than the local

people

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Then

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it causes them to exchange money with foreigners.

Moreover

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, the government can separate financial aid for charity and disabled

people

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Furthermore

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, financial aid can reduce poor families in our

country

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On the other hand

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, there are serious negative consequences of

this

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development.

For instance

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, if foreign

visitors

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are charged more than local

people

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it can cause some problems.

However

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, I believe that we can repair our ancient buildings with extra money from

visitors

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To conclude

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, I once reiterate my position that some

people

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believe that foreign

visitors

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should be paid more than local

people

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when they are in our

country

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While

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they are walking around historic places. Because it can make our

country

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a much better place to live.

Also

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, I agree with

this

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statement.

Submitted by asqar4997 on Wed Feb 08 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph presents a clear, distinct point with relevant examples and explanations to support your arguments. This will enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.

task achievement

Your main ideas should be more clearly articulated and fully developed. Providing specific examples to substantiate each point will strengthen your task achievement.

coherence cohesion

While your introduction and conclusion are noticeable, make sure that they effectively encapsulate the main ideas discussed in your essay. This will improve the logical structure as well as the coherence.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion well and provides a sense of completeness.

task achievement

You have managed to present a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, demonstrating awareness of different perspectives.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural exchange
economic contribution
tourism industry
equity
fairness
local economy
revenue allocation
economic discrimination
preservation
maintenance
community development
pricing strategy
perceived fairness

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