IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#visitors #attractions
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Travelling has been popular worldwide. It is thought some that foreign tourists should give more money than indigenous
people
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 to things that have a precious meaning for
countries
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 travelled to.
Although
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 it can be uncomfortable for some, I disagree with the idea that higher prices for foreigners should be accepted as a compulsory method. Host
countries
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 should always be friendly with other
countries
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 in many ways, especially when it comes to tourism industries. Each and every tourist should be treated equally without any signs of hostility from local
people
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 for financial purposes. When foreign
visitors
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 saw higher prices, which are made on purpose, they would be likely to get an unsatisfying first impression.
This
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 could, in turn, have a severe effect on the way that tourists recommend the
countries
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, they visited, to others. They might criticize the
countries
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 where the payments for visiting ancient buildings were higher for non-natives because of their first impression.
Furthermore
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, historical and cultural attractions
such
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 as museums could
also
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 be damaged by local
people
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. There are some
people
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 who do not care about the environment and do harm to society even though their nationality is the same.
For example
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, they put their trash in public places, which can be detrimental.
Hence
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, it would be unfair to impose expensive costs for non-native
visitors
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.
On the contrary
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, if governments do not treat others differently and keep fairness, they are likely to be advertised by their
visitors
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 free of charge. Age, gender, and nationality notwithstanding, every tourist should be treated fairly and in the same way. In conclusion,
while
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 some
people
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 claim that local
visitors
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 should pay less than strangers for valuable places, I would argue that we should not be discriminating against tourists as it is not fair.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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