Everyone should stay in school until the age of eighteen , considering the significance of primary & secondary level education in a learner's life. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#school #age #eighteen #significance #level #education #learner #life

It is very important for everyone to complete their schooling during adolescent age as

this

will help in individuals' growth and upbringing. I completely agree with the statement, in the below paragraphs we will share examples of how educational institutes contribute towards a child's development and understanding of lessons for

life

. To start with, children are like clay and whatever is being learned by them in their adolescence period will carry forward till the end of their

life

. In order to learn and differentiate between what is good and bad one needs to have a proper understanding of the issue,

this

is where school comes into the picture. These institutes are responsible

to provide

Change preposition

for providing

show examples

a better environment for the children so that

while

studying, playing, socialising or communicating they should be able to understand the value of

life

Apart from

this

, it helps in the

overall

upbringing of the individuals.

On the other hand

, children who have grown up without going to school don't know how to interact with others which sometimes becomes very challenging.

Firstly

, one will not

able

Add a missing verb

be able

show examples

to read anything properly in case he needs to follow some instructions to do so.

Secondly

, one would be always dependent on others to guide him on what needs to be done to do anything.

Lastly

, they are unable to socialise with anyone as they don't have anything to discuss with anyone.

To conclude

, education is very important till the age of 18 years for every individual in order to grow in

life

and even to provide a better future to our wards.

Submitted by sd.lamba on Wed Feb 08 2023

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task response

The essay provides a clear response to the task question, and the ideas are logically organized. However, more specific examples could be included to support the main points. The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, but the main points need further development.

coherence cohesion

The essay shows good coherence and cohesion, with a clear logical structure. The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay. However, the main points need to be further supported with specific examples to enhance coherence and cohesion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Compulsory education
Foundational knowledge
Career prospects
Economic mobility
Lifelong learner
Vocational training
Apprenticeships
Academic achievements
Global economy
Personal autonomy
Educational equity
Overqualification
Job market saturation
Inequality
Specialization
Skill development
Youth unemployment
Innovative pedagogy
Social integration
Critical thinking skills

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