Everyone should stay in school until the age of eighteen , considering the significance of primary & secondary level education in a learner's life. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

It is very important for everyone to complete their schooling during adolescent age as
this
will help in individuals' growth and upbringing. I completely agree with the statement, in the below paragraphs we will share examples of how educational institutes contribute towards a child's development and understanding of lessons for
life
. To start with, children are like clay and whatever is being learned by them in their adolescence period will carry forward till the end of their
life
. In order to learn and differentiate between what is good and bad one needs to have a proper understanding of the issue,
this
is where school comes into the picture. These institutes are responsible
to provide
Change preposition
for providing
show examples
a better environment for the children so that
while
studying, playing, socialising or communicating they should be able to understand the value of
life
.
Apart from
this
, it helps in the
overall
upbringing of the individuals.
On the other hand
, children who have grown up without going to school don't know how to interact with others which sometimes becomes very challenging.
Firstly
, one will not
able
Add a missing verb
be able
show examples
to read anything properly in case he needs to follow some instructions to do so.
Secondly
, one would be always dependent on others to guide him on what needs to be done to do anything.
Lastly
, they are unable to socialise with anyone as they don't have anything to discuss with anyone.
To conclude
, education is very important till the age of 18 years for every individual in order to grow in
life
and even to provide a better future to our wards.
Submitted by sd.lamba on

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task response
The essay provides a clear response to the task question, and the ideas are logically organized. However, more specific examples could be included to support the main points. The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, but the main points need further development.
coherence cohesion
The essay shows good coherence and cohesion, with a clear logical structure. The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay. However, the main points need to be further supported with specific examples to enhance coherence and cohesion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Compulsory education
  • Foundational knowledge
  • Career prospects
  • Economic mobility
  • Lifelong learner
  • Vocational training
  • Apprenticeships
  • Academic achievements
  • Global economy
  • Personal autonomy
  • Educational equity
  • Overqualification
  • Job market saturation
  • Inequality
  • Specialization
  • Skill development
  • Youth unemployment
  • Innovative pedagogy
  • Social integration
  • Critical thinking skills
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