Some people think The mental strength important for success in sports while others believe that is it more important to have strong and fit people in sports. Discuss both views and give opinion.

Repacing
Correct your spelling
Replacing
show examples
books
and printed educational materials with electronic
devices
such
as tablets and laptops
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
becoming
prevalant
Correct your spelling
prevalent
.
Athough
Correct your spelling
Although
it is generally believed that changing the educational stuff could be useful in students's learning process and in environmental terms, I personally disagree with their claim
due to
some arguments. The proponents of replacing
books
and printed materials like assignments back up their claim with several reasons.
Firstly
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electronic
devices
may offer a wider range of information than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physical
books
. The ability to use
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
is helping these things to provide
use
Verb problem
apply
show examples
an enormous volume of information in just a second.
moreover
, by diminishing physical
books
the environment may
preserve
Wrong verb form
be preserved
show examples
better. For producing paper, trees must be cut down and
due to
the elimination of
papar
Correct your spelling
paper
, forests will be intact for the future generation.
In addition
, more trees will be equal to more oxygen for
people
.
On the other hand
, the opponents of using tablets and laptops
instead
of paper
books
address some arguments for their belief. An
obvios
Correct your spelling
obvious
reason for
this
is
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
official statistics. Using an electronic device may lessen the learning ability of students.
For example
,
According to
scientific research, pupils who used
Correct article usage
a
show examples
computer or tablet to read a
paricular
Correct your spelling
particular
document had problems
to remember
Change the verb form
remembering
show examples
the order of events in the document.
While those
Correct word choice
Those
show examples
read
Correct pronoun usage
who read
show examples
the document on paper, did not experience
such
things.
Furthermore
, capability of the electronic
devices
to easily access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a tremendous amount of data on the internet may make them reluctant to read and learn from them since
people
usually can not benefit from things which are provided in a huge number. In conclusion, even though by replacing
books
and papers with tablets and laptops
people
may benefit from these
electronical
Correct your spelling
electronic
devices
, I think regarding the learning process,
people
need to stick to physical educational materials to learn better.
Also
, it
is seems
Change the verb form
seems
show examples
likely that
elcetronic
Correct your spelling
electronic
products may serve students in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
after school
Add a hyphen
after-school
show examples
programs like computer programming.
Submitted by sepehr.kahvand on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • physical strength
  • endurance
  • athlete
  • performance
  • injury prevention
  • mental strength
  • pressure
  • focus
  • high-stakes situations
  • mental game
  • resilience
  • setbacks
  • recover
  • motivated
  • foundation
  • longevity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: