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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Modern children are suffering from those disease which were once consider to be meant for the aduts only.obesity is the major disease prevalent among the children.what are its causes and remedies?

#children #disease #aduts #obesity #remedies
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Obesity has been
the
Correct article usage
a
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 current issue for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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youth these days, which was actually faced by elder people.
This
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 essay will examine the main causes of
this
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 disease and the solutions to
this
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 problem. The two main causes of youngsters facing
this
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 disease are eating habits and lack of physical
activities
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. Nowadays,
children
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 have a habit of eating lots of junk food.
For instance
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, mostly both the
parents
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 are working and because of
that
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,that
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 they don't get much time to look after their child's diet part.
Also
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, as
parents
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 are busy with their work or social life, they allow their kids to spend lots of time on mobile phones, and
that is
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 the reason why kids are not able to do physical
activities
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.
For example
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, working from home has been the trend these days
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
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 for women. They are busy with their work and because their work should not get disturbed they allow their
children
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 to use
a mobile phones
Correct the article-noun agreement
a mobile phone
mobile phones
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. Some possible solutions to
this
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 problem are proper diet should be planned as per the age of the juvenile. So that
children
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 can eat healthy food more as compared to junk food.
Moreover
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, there should be compulsion on some
activities
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 where
children
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 can physically participate.
For example
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, both
parents
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 and
children
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 can have a morning exercise session, an evening walk session or a kind of playtime at least for an hour.
To conclude
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,
Parents
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 should equally focus on
heir
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their
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 eating habits and physical
activities
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 to avoid
this
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 serious issue called Obesity.
Submitted by infojmvisaservices on

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