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Writing Samples
Band 5

Space travel is fantastic these days, but there are many issues, such as environmental problems, that we should be focusing on. What are your views on the allocation of public funding?

#space #travel #allocation
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There has been a revolutionary advancement in technology, which has made
space
Use synonyms
 travel possible in the modern world.
Such
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 a new expression opens a door for great possibilities and discoveries that are beneficial for future generations.
However
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, it is often controversial that public funds should be allocated to more urgent issues including environmental problems. I agree with
this
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 for the following reasons. On the one hand, the public fund is worth spending on
space
Use synonyms
 projects because
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
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provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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 people with a fascinating experience.
In other words
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,
space
Use synonyms
 travel will become a new entertainment for modern people to enjoy outstanding galaxies in an extensive universe.
In addition
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,
this
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space
Use synonyms
 exploration can lead to surprising discoveries. Indeed, many researchers are excited about the possibility
to communicate
Change preposition
of communicating
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 with aliens and
settle
Wrong verb form
settling
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 on other planets.
On the other hand
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, some people put more importance on other serious issues that public money should be distributed .
Due to
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 the growing economic activities and current demands for more comfortable and convenient lifestyles, more natural resources are extracted carelessly.
As a result
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, these human acts cause massive destruction of the environment in various parts of the world.
For example
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, more than half of the rainforests in Brazil are cut down to produce furniture and housing.
Therefore
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, the government should provide financial support to protect wild plants and animals which lost their habitats. In conclusion,
while
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space
Use synonyms
 travel offers a valuable experience not only for entertainment but for advancing scientific discoveries, public money should be invested in more imminent issues of the destruction of nature.
Submitted by mizuho_kondo117 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly presents your opinion on the allocation of public funding.
task achievement
Develop more specific and relevant examples to support your points.
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